The Stove Guards

-
Left Guard With Strong Biceps: "Keep CJ away from the stove. I hear she only knows how to make crackers and cheese."

Small But Wiry Guard: "Don't worry, I ran her over with my walker. She's flat on the living room rug."

Guard With An Attitude:"Would you video my son already?!"

Comments

Anonymous said…
CJ,
I guess that means you were in charge of the appetizers? I was on cleanup duty.
November 24, 2007 at 9:46 PM
Martini Cartwheels said…
They don't even trust me with the apps. I had cleanup duty like you did. My reputation in the kitchen proceeds my arrival.
November 24, 2007 at 10:34 PM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Hey SJ - I think you have that same face two posts below. Still hot. (See, I'm trusting that you will read this so I am posting a pre-comment comment to you).
November 24, 2007 at 11:46 PM
Anonymous said…
And here I am reading it, though a bit late. Yes, i am in fact still hot. And it's "my reputation PRECEDES me" not "proceeds me."

don't maik me giv u a gramer lessen.
December 7, 2007 at 11:16 AM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Do you talk to James Patterson that way Miss Little Brown?
December 8, 2007 at 8:56 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Ring, Part 2

-
Image
Up until last night, I thought I had tried everything. Dishwashing soap, dental floss, olive oil, two different kinds of hand lotion, ice, and Windex. I was just about to give up. However, my friends McMeaty and McCheesy were not. First came the WD-40 and lots of tugging. Standing over the kitchen sink, McMeaty gave it his all. Unfortunately the WD-40 not only lubed up my finger but his entire hand as well. No go there. Next came the dental floss. But the hand cream I had put on after the WD-40 only made the floss slip right off my finger without moving the ring. At this point, I had been sitting on the couch with my arm elevated for about ten minutes or so. This made the swelling go down quite a bit (thank you Chewy ). McMeaty was confident between the hand lotion and the reduction in swelling that another few pulls and twists would work. I sat on the couch, arm still elevated, while he patiently moved the ring up to my knuckle. Then wth a few more twists, turns, and tugging, the rin
Read more

Smile Pretty!

-
Image
In my twenties, my then girlfriend and I used to think it was a riot to take pictures of ourselves doing really stupid things. Giving ourselves weird hairstyles, wearing goofy clothes, or putting things in our teeth really made us laugh. I found these pictures today. They were taken about twenty years ago in Boston. This one is particularly lovely, bra on the outside of my clothes,hair all twisted on top of my head, raisin in my teeth. And yes, I believe I am wearing a towel for pants. This one of me reminds me of a British rock star who says no, no, no to rehab (sorry Amy). Again, a beautiful sight to behold. And lastly, my ex, she who shall not be named. I have cropped out the top of her head because I think she would sue me if she saw I put her picture up here without her permission. She is the one who started all of this raisin in the teeth foolishness and this post would not be complete without her picture.
Read more

Oops, I Did It Again

-
Image
A while back I did a post about super-gluing a Mickey Mouse figurine to my middle finger. This time I have somehow gotten a ring stuck on the same finger. And I can't get it off. I put the ring on yesterday afternoon. I knew I was going to have trouble as soon as I shoved it past my knuckle. My finger is starting to get a little sore from all the tugging and possibly a little swollen, which is obviously not helping matters. Doesn't the Universe realize I can't possibly drive to work in Boston without complete and total use of this finger? It is as necessary for the commute as is a tank of gas. How will I convey my true feelings to the "left hand turn from the right lane" folks I encounter every day? I cannot be mute for my commute! Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on how to remove the ring 1) without removing my finger and 2) while keeping the ring intact I would greatly appreciate it.
Read more