Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Now Boarding Rows 1 Through 10. Is There Room For Your Carry On?

Here's an interesting texting typo I created last week:


And if airline seats get any smaller, I can see this being an actual problem. Can you imagine? I'm sorry ma'am, but there is no way both of you can seat in one seat. You will have to purchase an additional ticket for "her".

What would happen then? Would she want the window or middle seat? That's assuming she would even want to sit next to me. I mean, we are together 24/7 so she may want a little alone time, out in the open air, where she is free of any restraint.

And what if she is chatty, flapping her lips the whole time? I'm not a big talker when I travel, preferring instead to bury my head in a magazine so I can take my mind off the flight and enjoy my Ativan.

I imagine the conversation going as such:

She:  I hate that bike seat at spin class. You have no idea what it's like.
Me:  Spin class is only 50 minutes. You can handle it. I bought you padded shorts. Those weren't
         cheap you know.
She:  What do you think of this look? [points to picture from a glamour magazine]
Me:  Absolutely not. No pompadours. I don't care how popular they are. Why did you hit the call
        button?
She: I 'm cold. I want a blanket and a snack. Maybe some cheese and crackers and a glass of wine.
Me:  No wine! You know how you get after a few drinks.
She:  Zip it. You're not the boss of me.
Me:  You zip it!
She:  Ok, you asked for it.
Me:  I was only kidding! Wait!

Lesson learned. Always board the plane in time to make room for your carry-on, whatever that may be.







8 comments:

DarDunc said...

LMVO (laughing my vag off).

Martini Cartwheels said...

Ha Dar! You get the award for the best comment of the day! Your comment left me giggling.

8thday said...

What? You don't fly her first class?

Ellie Creek Ellis said...

Hilarious! Turning the typo into reality is hilarious! "She" obviously has the upper hand!

pawsingtospeak said...

Always so lippy... And the seats really can't get much smaller - nor can the restrooms...

Martini Cartwheels said...

8th day I wish I had thought of that. More room to spread out. Wait - that sounds bad.

Martini Cartwheels said...

Thanks Ellie. I wasn't sure if I might be crossing the line of good taste, but I giggled the whole time I was writing this.

Martini Cartwheels said...

Pawsing the rest rooms are the worst! Very hard to hover in the room the size of a box while bouncing around at 36,000 feet.