Martini Cartwheels

So if I was in my living room watching the game, how could I be at Gillette Stadium taking pictures of Tom Brady? I took the bottom picture of the television with my Canon camera. I wasn't wearing a vest or a hat. And I didn't have the black camera strap around my neck. But it is still weird.

It was twenty years ago today that I kissed a girl for the first time. So I guess this makes it my 20th anniversary of being a lesbian. Some people could argue it's actually been more like 35 years. This was taken during my plaid Toughskin Jeans period. That was prior to my Ralph Macchio period (thanks for that great reference Ronia). By that time, I had traded in my Toughskins for Earth Shoes. That's one of my nieces standing next to me. I sort of look like her uncle. Wax on, wax off. Anyway, here's to twenty years of being the person I was born to be. An Earth Shoe wearing, plaid Toughskin toting, big 'ol lesbian.

Pressure is on... Better make it a good one..... You know, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their eyes. What's that saying, “ The eyes are the window to the soul. ” Well if that's true, then what are my eyes telling everyone today? No, I'm not on crack. Crack is whack (right Whitney?). Besides, I stopped smoking that days ago. There is a problem with my contact lenses apparently. Either that, or there is something terribly wrong . If my head starts spinning around I'll be sure to post a video. Happy Saturday!

Finally dusted my nightstand. I found these 12 books, none of which I have finished reading yet. I have two books by Pema Chödrön and one by Eckhart Tolle because I believe they will make me think. I have a book by Augusten Burroughs because I find his writing extremely entertaining. I have two books of watches - one from Tag Heuer and one from Breitling because to me, their watches are like pieces of beautiful art. There is one book on haunted places in New England and one on vampires. Ever since seeing Catherine Denueve bite Susan Sarandon in The Hunger, I have thought there was something sexy about vampires. Freakonomics (interesting theories), The 4-Hour Work Week (who wants to work more than 4 hours?), and Animals in Translation (what are the dogs trying to tell me?) round out the collection. Oh, and one book I took to read while traveling, 21, which I thought would be interesting since it has ties to Boston. What's on your nightstand?

The results are in for some recent laboratory work I had done. Cholesterol 261 - Guess I need to just stick to the wine and omit the cheese. LDL,HDL, Triglycerides - Better work on those as well. FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) - normal range is from 1.8 to 22.5, depending on when the specimen is drawn. My level is 88.3, which falls in the range for post menopausal women. So I guess it is official. Menopause has arrived in all it's glory. I feel fine, except for those annoying hot flashes. And a couple of people told me I was more crabby than usual. Me crabby? I told them to kiss my ass. What do they know. No, I am going to look upon this as a good thing. Late for work? Sorry, I was feeling a little tired from menopause. Forgot an important event? Gee, I can't seem to remember anything now that I am in menopause. You saw me give you the finger? Oh, it must be that darn menopause, it just makes me so irritable. Another typo on the blog? Menopause. You were going to take that ...

I over-heard someone at my 25th high school reunion last week say they thought I was one of the folks who hadn't really changed. I'm not sure if that is a compliment. My hair, although longer, is still the same color thanks to my hairdresser. I know I weigh a little bit more. And I know I don't wear quite as many layers as I used to, unless it is a very cold day outside. Speaking of layers, I wonder why I didn't throw on a cardigan or a second oxford for my picture. Surely I could have fit one more article of clothing either underneath or on top of my sweater. What was I thinking?

I warned her. I told my work buddy that I would join the gym with her and that we would go together every day. I also told her that I'm no gym diva, that my outfits would probably not match, and that my favorite workout bottoms are my bright orange baggy Ptown shorts. They have dual purpose. They are comfy and they make me easy to find if I go flying off the treadmill. I used to belong to an all women's gym (of course you did CJ ). This new gym is co-ed. Do men sweat a lot or what? I've seen men sweat so much that it actually flies off them and hits not only their machine, but the machine next to them too. Yuck. And the men's locker room has a funky smell. I know this because I almost walked right into it. Luckily another female yelled "Hey, that's the men's locker room" with such intensity you would have thought I was stepping in front of the path of a moving train. It wasn't my fault. There are only two doors leading from the weight room - one...

I played one of those brain training games that have been all the rage this holiday season. My initial pass calculated my brain age to be in the 50's. I'm thinking that the first time the results are skewed to the higher side to get you to come back and continue your training. But just in case, I'm taking off points for each glass of wine I had with Christmas dinner. So my score is now 37. The ideal score is 20. That must be because I was just so smart when I was that age. Let's see,what did I know back then? I knew I was straight. Ok, not so smart there. I knew I wanted to have kids. Not so much. I was sure knowing that the derivative of X^2 is 2X would somehow be beneficial to me. Keep going Einstein. I knew that my friends would probably be married before I was. Ding ding ding.....extra bonus points there smarty pants. I'll give that game another round or two. But I'm stopping before I get my score to 20. That would be way too dangerous.

It's 1:20 in the morning. And I should not be up listening to Bronski Beat, Missing Persons, Depeche Mode, Ministry, or any other 80's tune I have stored away on my ipod. My coming of age, my discovery period, whatever I call it, the 80's were good to me. I learned who I was, what I wanted to be, and I was young enough to get away with things that I couldn't now. Ground Zero,Axis, Venus De Milo, The Rat, ManRay and various other Boston bars were my playgrounds. War Dancing, Doc Martens, and vintage clothing were just as important as getting up for work and paying the rent. A haircut every 4 weeks with my head shaved up the back, Harvard Square, the cute bartender at Bobbby's, my first girlfriend, did you really get us tickets for The Cure? REM, Love and Rockets, Public Image Limited, New Order - oh man, I'm really dating myself. I'll be honest - I do miss it a little bit. But not enough to want to go back.

Sometimes on my way into work, I think about blog topics. This morning, as I was exiting the parking garage via the stairwell, I got one foot stuck under the other and nearly took a header. I saved myself by somehow grabbing the rail. I was lucky because I think I would have landed on my face. Not a good look for me at work or any other time. I'll be the first to admit I am a total klutz. I can be walking along and boom - suddenly I am down on one knee, having tripped over a pebble or a stray blade of grass. I fell in downtown Boston, on the sidewalk, on my way to lunch one day. That was fun. A young woman stopped to ask me if I was alright. I thought that was very nice of her, except for the fact that she called me ma'am, probably because she thought only the elderly and infirm could drop that like that. When I was a kid, I crashed my 5 speed into a parked car - twice. There I was peddling with my head down one minute and practically sitting on someones trunk the next. That sm...

Why did I create this blog? Mainly because I have too much craziness floating around in my brain and I was afraid if I did not let it escape my head would explode and make a mess all over the place. This is my outlet where I can say what I need to say, and not care about who hears it - except of course any current or future employers who may find me just a little to left of center. So here I go. Enjoy the ride.