Martini Cartwheels

"What do you mean we can't get a beer on Sunday in Massachusetts until noon time?"

I'm hunting wabbits. Or chipmunks. Or leaves. Or whatever the heck moves....

We got to the St. Patrick's Day parade, held last Sunday, bright and early at 10:00am. The parade started at noon and our spot was near the end of the route, meaning the parade wouldn't come marching by until 1:30 or so. We had our chairs, cooler, sandwiches, and beverages all ready to go. We alternated members of our group, some staying inside the pub to hold our place in the corner, some venturing outside to watch the parade. I was quite content sitting in the sun, watching the parade, and enjoying a beverage. I love bagpipes and was glad to have a perfect view of the marchers. Then a funny thing happened. The bright and festive colors of the parade suddenly began to fade into an ocean of blue. Oh my eyes! Despite numerous requests to move, these bums of the SS Ahole remained firmly anchored in front of my chair. I stood up, turned around, and started my own parade - right back into the pub. Bummer.

My father was orange. My mother was not green. But I consider my sister orange and her husband is green and they did have to get married in two churches. So maybe this song is more appropriate for my nieces but then again, they would have to reverse it to my mother was orange and my father was green and...oh never mind. The St. Patrick's Day parade in western Mass is today at noon. We plan to be in our place at the pub, which sits at the end of the route, promptly at 10:00 AM. Pictures, hopefully not too blurry, to follow.

I signed up for Nutrisystem today. I should be getting a five week supply of food delivered this week. I've been trying to be good. But 12 hours work days (that includes the commute) have taking their toll on my waist. Beer isn't helping either, especially when supplemented with nachos. Thursday may have been the kicker. I was wearing pants with a snap at the top of the zipper. And before I got out of the driveway the snap popped open - twice. I'm worried I may one day shoot someone's eye out with if it happens while wearing my Levis. So we'll see how it goes. I'm hoping to lose 25 pounds. Does this mean I have to switch to light beer? That would totally suck. And more importantly, do you think I will get to meet Marie?

It was so windy here today in Massachusetts. (Ok, now you say, "How windy was it"). And I say, windy enough for me to find a canoe sitting in the side yard. Last time we saw this, it was tied to the roof of the neighbor's car. Still no sign of the vehicle. Maybe that is sitting in backyard.

I recently purchased several apps for my iPhone. Two that I think are worth mentioning are TripTracker and Nevasic. TripTracker worked great on my recent trip to Texas. All you do is type in your flight number and airline. It was a quick and easy way to get gate information which came in super handy, especially at an airport the size of DFW. I am not terribly experienced at traveling alone. This app made me feel a little more at ease and confident about connecting flights. Nevasic , according to their web site, is "an audio program that eliminates the symptoms of sickness". I bought this for my trip as well, as it has a program that is supposed to relieve motion sickness. There is also a program for morning sickness, and for hangovers. Fortunately I didn't need it for my trip. And I'm not pregnant. But if you read my mobile posts from last night/early this morning, you can probably guess what I needed it for today. The app has to be used with headphones. And alth

Why are the back of my pants wet? - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I can't get to the freaking paper towels because you are hogging the sinks and mirrors. If you were a big lesbian like me, you would know that your hair looks good because mullets are easy to maintain. Levi jeans,Doc Martins, Paul Mitchell Freeze and Shine - done and good to go. Ok, kidding about the mullet part. Really. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone Location: Lighthouse Bar *******Morning After Thoughts*********** S o really, I'm usually not that bitchy about the whole bathroom thing. But this bathroom was small. And this woman was dolling herself up like she was entering a Miss America Pageant. So I stood to the side and behind her for at least a minute with wet hands because the paper towels were totally blocked. It was at that point that I just reached over, probably dripping water from my hands into her open pocketbook, and dried my hands on her pants. Shoot, I mean grabbed a towel. Ok, I feel better now. One more thing - I originally titled this post Straigh

Live blogging from The Lighthouse Bar. Seeing a band that is totally rocking the house. I love me some 80's music. I know the lead singer from 8th grade. Loving, Touching, Squeezing - Journey! Rock on! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Watch out for this cowpoke! I made the mistake of turning to face this dude in order to talk to him. Unfortunately, I talked to his Texas longhorn. Hence, the look of discomfort on my face. You have to wonder if the calculus used to adjust the height of the stilts incorporated the average height of a female in relation to the location of his prickly cactus.

I got back from Texas last Thursday morning and I've been trying to recover ever since. I was so tired at work last Friday that I attempted to chew a piece of gum without first removing the wrapper. Big dummy. Needless to say I am very behind on blog posting and blog reading. I'm slowly working my way back to the blogging world. On the positive side, I'm loving my new cowboy boots and hat. Now all I need is a horse.

We don't have Jackalopes in Massachusetts. We have Wickedpissalopes. They drink beer, talk funny, and wear Red Sox t-shirts. I like the Jackalopes better.

Well, maybe not a convention. But it was Texas. And we are bloggers . The best thing about blogging? Meeting wonderful people! And the second best? Getting to actually meet these friends in person. Thank you Solo and OAO for making the drive to San Antonio, for an awesome dinner, for my new moto charm/beverage opening device, and for teaching me the proper way to pronounce pahkan . You ladies rock.

These boot were bought in Texas, And that is surely true, And one of these days I hope to have a drink in them with you.

Howdy from Texas! Unfortunately this conference is consuming a lot of time and leaving me only a precious few minutes for personal blogging. Plus, I am using my work laptop which isn't the best for uploading pictures. The highlight of this trip happened on Saturday night when I got to meet Solo and OAO . Let me tell you, they are great people. Warm, funny, welcoming - just all around great stock. I feel very fortunate and honored to have met these ladies in person. I have a pic or two to post which I will hopefully do soon. Tonight it is all day sessions and this evening a vendor sponsored cocktail party. Oh - and I got myself some genuine cowboy boots and a few other accessories. Yee - Hawwww ! I love Texas.