Martini Cartwheels

Since I last blogged, I got in a car accident and sold my motorcycle. The car was hit by a motorcycle from behind. A little unnerving to say the least, to watch a motorcycle go flying out sideways from behind your car while you are driving on the highway. I was fine, the motorcyclist survived (thank you Angels!) but he did suffer some broken bones. I had planned on selling the bike prior to the accident and was on my way home to meet a prospective buyer the night the accident occurred. Odd. The car is still in the shop and will be for the next couple of weeks at least. Thankfully it is not totaled. Once concern I do have is a box of books in the back of the car that I didn't get a chance to remove prior to it being towed. They were books I had planned to donate - until I discovered that there was quite a collection of, umm, lesbian themed books. Hope the guys at the auto body shop don't get too distracted. I need my wheels back!

What was that saying -  "She's so small her bra has front and back tags"?  Or was it "Her bra actually fits better when she has it on backwards"? Whatever it was, it appears to pertain to bathing suit tops as well. Yes, someone, who shall remain unidentified, had her bathing suit top on backwards this past weekend while hanging out at The Wet Spot.  If it were not for the protruding cups in the back, I'm not sure anyone would have noticed.

We saw the movie Ted this weekend and laughed - a lot. A drug using, profanity spewing teddy bear can equal funny if you are in the right mood. I was surprised to see so many young kids, accompanied by adults, at an R rated movie. Not quite sure what these "parents" were thinking. This is definitely an adult movie.  If you like exposing your kids to gratuitous profanity then maybe you should have them read my fucking blog. Anyway, while walking to the car after the movie ended, I noticed our buddy Stiffy had her bra neatly folded under her arm.  Somewhere between bites of popcorn and handfuls Sno Caps, Stiffy had managed to remove her brassiere. Had I known that, I would have placed the cups around my ears and fastened the bra under my chin. Hey, if you can't have a little fun at the movies then what's the point of going?

So glad I bought the extra large jumbo bag of "Wholesale Warehouse Ladies' Razors". The three-blade pivoting head has done a great job cutting the shit out of my shins. You should get a box of  "Wholesale Warehouse Bandages" free with each purchase. All I can say is that it's a good thing there are no sharks in The Wet Spot. 

I turned 48 over this past weekend. Or, as I like to call it, thirty-eighteen. A few months back, I convinced myself I was already 48. So when the actual day arrived, it was no big deal. Because in my mind, I haven't been 47 since March. Trust me, it works. As a side note, I had a nice visit with my mother Irene. She can't remember when my birthday is which is very convenient since I didn't have time to visit her in the nursing home on the actual day. This originally stirred some guilt but it dissipated after the 5th time she asked me when my birthday was. I was in the clear. Irene told me that if she gets to vote in the presidential election that she would vote for Obama because "Obama is for the gays."  Good to know.  Suddenly I have a vision of 87 year old Irene sitting in a wheelchair by the rotary (or roundabout as it is called in other places) in East Longmeadow, holding a sign that reads "Vote For Obama. He's For The Gays!" You go girl! Wh