Eating. Yup, that's how I am spending my week off.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
How I'm Spending My Winter Vacation
Eating. Yup, that's how I am spending my week off.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Promises, Promises
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
My Favorite Things
Models in poses and gin from Great Britain,
tight summer t-shirts that show of your tittens,
white takeout styrofoam full of hot wings,
these are a few of my favorite things.
Gold colored Yorkies but not dancing Poodles,
hair gels and sport gels and notepads with doodles.
Blue pouches that carry a Tiffany ring,
these are a few of my favorite things.
Dykes on big Harley's with loud pipes that do scream,
cute Femmes that ride on the back of those machines,
silver white hair that the years often bring,
these are a few of my favorite things.
When the wine spills, when your kid steals,
when you're drunk a tad,
Just simply remember Martini Cartwheels,
and then you won't feel so bad.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Cookie Cutters
Every year around this time, our neighbor McCheesy and her husband McMeaty host a cookie swap. It's a really great event, something Blondie and I always look forward to. There's fun people, amazing food, and cookies galore. The premise of the event is simple. Everyone brings 5 dozen cookies to share with the group. In return, each person gets to go home with a ton of various types of delicious cookies.
One of the highlights of the afternoon is when all the ladies gather round the living room to discuss what type of confection they made and what inspired them to do so. It usually goes something like this:
- "I made a petite double layer chocolate cookie with crème fraîche and toasted almonds."
- "This year I tried my hand at making cookies with white ganache and fresh organic strawberries."
- "I went with my all time favorite recipe, peanut butter melt-a-ways with marshmallow fondant."
Then comes our turn:
"This year Blondie and I went all out and decided not to buy cookies at Costco. We actually made M&M cookies. Some are a little burnt. Watch your teeth on the ones near the middle of the plate. Can I have some more wine?"
Ok all you cookie makers out there. We obviously need help. We are supposed to RSVP today with what we are bringing. Any suggestions?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Nicki Birthday Wishes!
- You won't be able to read. Put another way, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO READ.
- Every calorie you eat, be it from an apple or a potato chip, will take approximately 237 hours of running on the treadmill to burn off.
- Remember the Bain Du Soleil lady? Well, she remembers you. And she apologizes for lying about Orange Gelee Number 4.
- At best, there is only another 7 years or so before your body's thermostat raises your inner core to a temperature somewhere between that of molten lava and the bowels of hell. Mind you, this will only happen when you are trying to fall asleep at night or in a meeting at work.
- You will change your mind about pajama jeans.
- You find yourself preferring to stay at home and watch television on a Friday night instead of going out. And Saturday night. Maybe even Sunday.
- You will look even more beautiful than you do today. Because in my humble opinion, women in their 40's and older are hot (and not just from the flashing mentioned above in number 4).