Martini Cartwheels

My friend's kitty loves his owners  More than your cat loves you. How, you may ask, do I know  These words to be true? For history tells us he could have  Hopped in that box and farted. But no, inside he went  And that good boy hearted.

My friend Stiffy works in an out patient department at one of the major hospitals in the Boston area. The other day, one of the patients asked her if she would be interested in working here: As her friend, I feel it is my obligation to help her design a catch phrase for her new business card if she decides to pursue this endeavor. "When you need it in a jiffy, be sure to call on Stiffy" "She's Stiffy even when you aren't" "For a good Stiffy in Boston, call this number" "Interested in a straight but not narrow Stiffy?" "Free MRI with every out call" Any and all suggestions welcome.

I posted this picture on FB the other day with the caption " Cannot believe this group still isn't popular."  And from the comments received, I'm worried people didn't realize I was being sarcastic. Yes, hard to believe but I was. The 70's brought us lots of these family bands - The Osmonds, The Jackson 5, The Partridge Family (Laurie's organ was never plugged in), the DeFranco Family and even the Brady's. They all wore those same outfits - the tight fitting bell bottom  polyester pants, boots with big chunky heels, and shirts with collars large enough to swaddle a 10 pound infant.  Sometimes when I'm alone I like to put on a pair of those pants, grab a wooden spoon for a makeshift microphone, and sing "Time To Change" at the top of my lungs.  But you probably already knew that about me.* *See paragraph 1 reference regarding sarcastic behavior

Two gentlemen came over last Monday to open The Wet Spot and things looked pretty darn good. The color was a nice blue and not that awful green, as it can sometimes be when it has not been used in a while. There was some dirt on the bottom but nothing the Dolphin (vacuum) can't handle. Unfortunately the power supply for the Dolphin is on the fritz and the unit does not take batteries so we'll have to wait a bit to stick the Dolphin in The Wet Spot. After the pool men left I discovered a puddle in the shed due to a leak from the pump. I hate it when The Wet Spot pump isn't working properly - it's very frustrating.   Hopefully that will be fixed by the end of the week so I can throw in some chlorine and give The West Spot a good 'ol fashioned disinfecting. If all goes well, The Wet Spot should be ready for visitors by the end of May!

Our neighbor and friend McMeaty alerted us to a bear siting that occurred on our street last night. This is a real bear, the kind that rambles along on four furry legs and not the usual bare that you see at the The Wet Spot* during the summer months. That bare has the same furry legs but only has two of them and is not usually spotted until after nightfall. I was thinking about what the heck we would do if we were walking down the street and saw a bear. The old adage "does a lesbian shit in the woods when she sees a bear" came to mind. I don't think one can outrun a bear and I know I couldn't certainly climb a tree to escape.  So if your popping over for a visit please take care that no wildlife, other than that which resides in this house, is lurking over your shoulder. And remember, whether it's a bear in the brush or a bare with a bush, you should never pet or feed these creatures. *The Wet Spot is the name of our pool. Also know as the hole in th

How I sound at the Home Depot: So my kitchen faucet is leaking near the sprayer head end and my friend Min took it apart and we think it needs a new one of those rubber circles that goes around that other metal circle thing. Unless of course the leak is really from the metal hose tubing that runs under the cabinet and attaches somewhere near that pipe that is turning green. How my friend Min sounds at the Home Depot: I loosened the screw to remove the handle and unscrewed the bonnet, thereby exposing the valve and mounting nut.  I pulled the hub and spout assembly up and off the body of the faucet. The o-rings and bearings look to need replacing. Would you happen to have a 2-001 1/32 inch o-ring in stock? It's good to have friends that can speak the language when I travel to the foreign land of the Doityourselfrepairville.    

Oh it's so pretty. Just love that blue green color. I'll have 3 please. Hey - don't judge! I cleaned out the pool shed in preparation for the opening of The Wet Spot. And with all the poop I had to deal with, I deserve a little reward. Oh sure, the mouse poop is tiny and not too bad to deal with. But I also found a new strain of new poo on the block this spring. It confused me so that I actually thought some one had taken up residence in our shed this winter. You poop in my shed? I will suck you up. With my shop vac that is. Hope no one gave you any crap this weekend. Mouse or otherwise.

Step 1. Buy a really long lens Step 2. Stick a really long pole up your bum