Martini Cartwheels

So I got this cool award and tag from Propane Amy . Thanks Amy - that was very sweet of you! Now the tough part - I am supposed to list 10 things about myself. I think I made one of these lists before - and I had a really hard time doing it. Can I do a list of five things twice instead? 1. I think I could win if I went on Big Brother. 2. I think I would get voted off first if I went on Survivor. 3. I think I would dislocate a knee and shoulder if I went on Wipe Out. 4. I think the judges ears would bleed if I tried out for American Idol. 5. I think my audition for So You Think You Can Dance would consist of doing the Bump. 6. Can you walk the cat walk on America's Next Top Model in Doc Martens? I could do that (maybe). Fierce. 7. I think Chef Ramsey would not be impressed with my signature meal which consists of crackers, cheese, and Pinot Grigio. I also do a wicked Chips and Dip. 8. I think I would suck on The Apprentice. I have nothing to wear. CJ, you're ...

Hey Dad, I know it's been 6 years now since we last spoke, but I'm going to an angel party today and I was really hoping you would stop by for a chat. I'm a little worried since you were never very aggressive and I think there will be quite a few folks on the other side who will be trying to get the medium's attention. But if you could spare a few minutes today, that would be very cool. Love, Cathy PS - Please tell me they have Sam Adams over there. PSS - Remember when we would ask you to do a cartwheel for us in the backyard after you had your Saturday evening martini and you would kindly oblige us? I will always remember those martini cartwheels.

I peed on my pants leg today at work. I'm a squatter. I know sitting on a public toilet will probably not bring me irreparable harm, but it just skeeves me to no end. Hovering can be tricky business however - one rogue stream as I had today and you've got yourself a pair of pee pee pants. Luckily this happened at the end of the day. It did prolong my day however, as I wanted to sit at my desk for a bit, hoping the spot would fade prior to my leaving the building. And, as it turns out, it was a particularly crowded day on the campus, with students moving in for the fall semester. Hopefully no one noticed as I quickly walked behind the buildings to the parking lot, glancing behind and down as I walked to make sure the offending spot was not standing out too much. Maybe I should keep a spare pair of pants in my office from now on.

Pressure is on... Better make it a good one..... You know, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their eyes. What's that saying, “ The eyes are the window to the soul. ” Well if that's true, then what are my eyes telling everyone today? No, I'm not on crack. Crack is whack (right Whitney?). Besides, I stopped smoking that days ago. There is a problem with my contact lenses apparently. Either that, or there is something terribly wrong . If my head starts spinning around I'll be sure to post a video. Happy Saturday!

Why am I up at 11:15 posting pictures of giant lobsters when I have to get up at 5:00 AM and drive my ass to work 68 miles away? Must be blog fever. I am so going to hate myself tomorrow. Anyway, these giant crustaceans pulled from the waters of New England are probably the biggest lobsters I have ever seen on a plate (my apologies to the vegans out there, seriously). I didn't eat one of these because I trusted the cream sitting in the sun on the table at the diner where we had breakfast. I thought I was going to have to run into the woods for a toilet 911 on the way to the beach that morning and I didn't want a repeat performance. Too much information I know. Zip it CJ. Time for bed. Have a pleasant Friday everyone.

Just one more reason why I love my friend Stiffy. She can tell it like it is....

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It has been 15 days since my last post. No, I have not abandoned Martini Cartwheels or my fellow bloggers. I have really missed posting and reading all your blogs. I want to blame work, but I know we all are busy and that is probably a wimpy excuse. But, in my defense, work has been very busy and very stressful and my brain is pretty much mush when I get home. See that picture of the smoking martini up there? Well, that took me over an hour to edit out the background, which of course left me quite frustrated and not feeling like posting. See, I thought that the Magic Lasso tool was something else entirely. I hope to be back to regular posting and reading this week. And I hope to maybe make the posts a little less cautious and sanitized. I'm not sure what that means exactly. I don't plan on dropping F bombs left and right but I would like to use this blog as an outlet for things I keep tucked away in my head. I hope to be visiting you all...

Poor Coco is having issues with incontinence again. So in addition to the doggie diapers, she is wearing a onesie to help keep the diaper in place and hopefully prevent her from wetting the bed. I had to get up to pee at 4:00 AM this morning. The idea of the diaper and the onesie may not be such a bad thing after all.

Finally dusted my nightstand. I found these 12 books, none of which I have finished reading yet. I have two books by Pema Chödrön and one by Eckhart Tolle because I believe they will make me think. I have a book by Augusten Burroughs because I find his writing extremely entertaining. I have two books of watches - one from Tag Heuer and one from Breitling because to me, their watches are like pieces of beautiful art. There is one book on haunted places in New England and one on vampires. Ever since seeing Catherine Denueve bite Susan Sarandon in The Hunger, I have thought there was something sexy about vampires. Freakonomics (interesting theories), The 4-Hour Work Week (who wants to work more than 4 hours?), and Animals in Translation (what are the dogs trying to tell me?) round out the collection. Oh, and one book I took to read while traveling, 21, which I thought would be interesting since it has ties to Boston. What's on your nightstand?