Martini Cartwheels

We picked up a large bag of putka pods because 1) they were cute and looked like little pumpkins and 2) they smelled really good in the shop. Got 'em home they look good, but they don't scent the room. And now we have 3 bowls and 3 sandwich bags full these things. And suddenly, they aren't so fricking cute. 

You know what's a pain in the ass? Shredding bills and bank statements.  It's time consuming, it's messy, and one box of paper creates three trash bags full of 1.5 inch X .3 inch paper strips. I want my bills to now be sent on cheese. That way when I shred them, I can at least at do something with the by-product. Put it on a sandwich, throw it on some pasta, toss it on top of some corn chips - all of which is better than trying to shove 20 pounds of paper into a trash bag meant to hold no more than 10 pounds. Great nachos CJ! Why thank you. That's my electric bill you are eating. I shred everything. Cable bill? Shred that bad boy. Don't need anyone seeing what extras I rented (don't judge!). Phone bills? What if someone finds my itemized statement and starts crank calling my relatives? Shred it too! Retirement statements? No one has to know I need to work for another 70 years. Shred, shred, shred! Amazon receipts? Ohhhh no. None of your bees wax. Yes, I ...

By making minor lifestyle changes, I dropped my cholesterol level 60 points in 6 months. For example, I stopped buying potato chips which thereby prevented me from shoving handfuls of them in my mouth every night like I was going to the electric chair. Here are some other tips: Eat oatmeal every day until it starts to come out your ears. Take fish oil pills. Replace slices of cheese on your sandwich with bottles of beer. Two or three Sam Adams and you won't give a shit there is no cheese on your ham sandwich. Honey and cinnamon tea. I read that in combination these can lower your cholesterol. Just don't do that stupid cinnamon challenge thing where you try to eat a teaspoon of it dry within one minute. It doesn't matter what your cholesterol is if you can't freaking breathe. And don't be cheap. Buy the good honey, the organic unpasteurized kind with the bee wings and legs.  Exercise. Put your treadmill or exercise bike in front of a television and watch s...

I was watching one of those dooms day prep shows while working out on the treadmill in my basement. These people had a year's worth of food, enough guns and ammo to start a small war, pickle barrels for storing water that they were somehow going to turn into a heat source,  and just about any other survival supply one would need. Are we ready to handle the earth's the next pole shift?  Since I was already in the basement, it was the perfect time to assess the situation. Off to explore the storage shelves I went. What the hell was I thinking? This looks like trouble, real trouble I thought - until I looked on the shelf below. Yup. All good. I'll be sitting in my lawn chair on top of the hill on our back 40, drinking Jameson's and watching the fireworks. Enjoy sitting in your bunker Doomsdayers.

Do you use coconut oil? If so, do you think it really has all the health benefits the write-ups claim? I tried a spoonful of it today. It looks like lard but tastes pretty darn good. I haven't tried the manna yet, but it smells delicious. I'm thinking of throwing one or the other in smoothies and oatmeal. I still feel a bit unsure - it just looks like it would clog the heck out of your arteries. But from what I've read that is not the case at all. If anyone has any thoughts, suggestions, recipies on how to use this stuff, I would love to hear from you.

H ey ! Did any of you get raptured ? I did not,but I am worried about all my fellow blog friends. I was at at a gay bar, so I was pretty sure no rapturing would be happening around me. Please, check in with a simple quick message to let me know you are alright. It's 11:27 on the east coast so I think we are all clear but you know how I worry. And one more side note - What the fuck is wrong with those who thought something would actually happen today? Your 15 minutes are up. Rapture .

Once a week at work we have a crock pot day. The deal is that if you want to partake in the crock pot goodness, you need to sign up to bring a dish. I sit in a large office that has a conference table in the middle of the room, making it the perfect space for heating up the dish of the day and sharing a meal. I resisted eating the yummy chili and stews for weeks, knowing that my cooking skills fall somewhere between that of a two year old and that of a St. Bernard. Last week however I caved. I was hungry and I knew the yogurt I brought just would not cut it. Well, tomorrow is the day. It's my turn. And to be honest, I'm a bit worried. I practiced last week with a hodgepodge of kielbasa, sauerkraut, apples, and brown sugar. Not bad. I'm thinking of going with the same recipe, ,maybe minus the apples. Unless of course someone can share some mind blowing way to cook kielbasa in a crock pot (yes - I want to stick with the kielbasa because of this part of the state is know for ...

I recently purchased several apps for my iPhone. Two that I think are worth mentioning are TripTracker and Nevasic. TripTracker worked great on my recent trip to Texas. All you do is type in your flight number and airline. It was a quick and easy way to get gate information which came in super handy, especially at an airport the size of DFW. I am not terribly experienced at traveling alone. This app made me feel a little more at ease and confident about connecting flights. Nevasic , according to their web site, is "an audio program that eliminates the symptoms of sickness". I bought this for my trip as well, as it has a program that is supposed to relieve motion sickness. There is also a program for morning sickness, and for hangovers. Fortunately I didn't need it for my trip. And I'm not pregnant. But if you read my mobile posts from last night/early this morning, you can probably guess what I needed it for today. The app has to be used with headphones. And althoug...

With her wonderful charm and wit, Blondie had them all eating out of the palm of her hand. And to think some folks just actually use a lunch box for lunch. Here, Blondie demonstrates how one can store everything needed for eating in one easy place. Have your dog along for the ride? No problem! Their teeth can be kept in their own separate storage container right next to yours! Ok, so maybe you shouldn't play with your food but you can play with your teeth! Here Blondie creates a a beautiful piece of art from used body parts. Way to think outside the box Blondie!

Here are some reasons why your payroll at work may be totally eff'd up. Or why your leave time balance may be missing a few hundred hours. Don't outsource your IT to places far away. Because if you do, one of these fellows below just may be keeping your payroll software up to date. Question: I am new to this [NameHidden] Admin area. Actullay i am Oracle dba and now i am going to support [NameHidden] also.Please give me some useful link or Document to get some basic infomration about [NameHidden]. Answer: There is no simple read a document formula for knowing how to administer [NameHidden] . Many people believe it is an extension of being a dba. You have to understand the product. I would suggest you take some classes related to the architecture. Follow-Up Question: Is there two kind of activity in [NameHidden] Admin part? Means one is [NameHidden] DBA and other one is [NameHidden] Admin. Is this correct? or please tell me the structure of [NameHidden] Admin. Thanks in Advan...

I was at a birthday party yesterday for my great-niece (yes, my niece's daughter - don't let my youthful looks fool you). We ordered several pizzas and were having them delivered. My sister asked me what we should give the delivery person for a tip. I said "How about don't eat yellow snow." With that in mind, here is another little tip. Stay away from snow donuts. The girlz are working on making a baker's dozen or so, right at the bottom of the front door steps. I guess if I was forced to pee outside in January in New England, I wouldn't head for the snow bank either.

The doorbell rang this morning as I was drinking my strawberry banana smoothie for breakfast. Thinking it was either UPS or a neighbor, I got up, one barking Yorkie tucked under my arm, and opened the door. I was surprised to see a man and a woman, nicely dressed, carrying some literature. "Oh, oh", I thought, "now I'm trapped, like a caged animal." They were very nice. They spoke briefly, offered me a pamphlet, which I accepted, and left. I thought these folks would usually try to work their way into the house in order to try to sell you on their religion. Not this time.  And now I think I know the secret to prevent this from happening. I had answered the door still wearing the white t-shirt I wore to bed. And it was cold out. And I hadn't realized how much the shirt has shrunk. That's one way to get my point across without even opening my mouth.

Here's a quick tip. I do not recommend having an espresso martini after a couple of glasses of Pinot Gris. Please note that this is not a combination I would normally have on my own. Out with my niece in Hingham , Mass the other night, we got to talking with a small group of folks while waiting for a take out order. Being the kind lot they were, they unexpectedly bought each of us one of these martinis. And not wanting to insult these people, we drank them. Two days later I am still thinking about this and those little dark beans floating around in my drink. Oh, and did I mention the Tuna Tartar that I ate after the martini? That really was the icing on the cake. Nothing like white wine, vodka, and raw fish. Now excuse me please I'm starting to feel dizzy again.