Nicki Birthday Wishes!
Blondie and I went to a bitching 40th surprise party last night for our gal pal Nicki (who is looking absolutely fabulous I might add). Since the actual birthday isn't until this weekend, I thought I would help her out by letting her know what to expect when she wakes up on Sunday morning, her first day on a new decade of life. You won't be able to read. Put another way, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO READ. Every calorie you eat, be it from an apple or a potato chip, will take approximately 237 hours of running on the treadmill to burn off. Remember the Bain Du Soleil lady? Well, she remembers you. And she apologizes for lying about Orange Gelee Number 4. At best, there is only another 7 years or so before your body's thermostat raises your inner core to a temperature somewhere between that of molten lava and the bowels of hell. Mind you, this will only happen when you are trying to fall asleep at night or in a meeting at work. You will change your mind about pajama jeans. You f...