Martini Cartwheels

Once a week at work we have a crock pot day. The deal is that if you want to partake in the crock pot goodness, you need to sign up to bring a dish. I sit in a large office that has a conference table in the middle of the room, making it the perfect space for heating up the dish of the day and sharing a meal. I resisted eating the yummy chili and stews for weeks, knowing that my cooking skills fall somewhere between that of a two year old and that of a St. Bernard. Last week however I caved. I was hungry and I knew the yogurt I brought just would not cut it. Well, tomorrow is the day. It's my turn. And to be honest, I'm a bit worried. I practiced last week with a hodgepodge of kielbasa, sauerkraut, apples, and brown sugar. Not bad. I'm thinking of going with the same recipe, ,maybe minus the apples. Unless of course someone can share some mind blowing way to cook kielbasa in a crock pot (yes - I want to stick with the kielbasa because of this part of the state is know for

So instead of a morning jog, I decided to take a morning blog. Not that I ever really do go for a jog in the morning since that would require to get out of bed at 4:30am. I do have my limits you know. We went to a wonderful event in Northampton on Saturday. It was an after party for the opening of Out For Reel gay and lesbian film series. DJ Lori B was spinning the tunes and the event was hopping! What a great time! One of the best events I've been to in recent years. As it so happened, Saturday was also the Zombie Pub Crawl in Northampton. I'm ok with werewolfs, vampires, and space aliens but zombies scare me a bit as I think out of all of the aforementioned monters, they have the greatest odds of actually existing. When I saw this large group of undead lumbering down the streets of Northampton I did have to tell myself that they were just a group of folks out for a few beers and that the actually did not want to eat my brain. That's the Monday morning report. Hope ever

In the unlikely event we lose bladder pressure, grab the mask firmly and place it over your nose and mouth while continuing to breath normally - preferably before the device is used for for it's intended function. Personally I think that hole in the bottom needs to be a little wider, especially if you have rented a beer or two within the last few hours (you never actually "buy" beer as you don't get to keep it). Looks like there is serious potential for over-flow or back up which totally defeats the purpose. I need to go to be earlier on Friday and Saturday nights so my brain at least works partially on Sunday. Thanks to my buddy Red for the demo.

As I've mentioned previously, my mother, prior to being admitted to a nursing home for rehab, lived at my sister's house. This weekend was my niece's 40th birthday. And her mother (my sister) and father (my brother-in-law), thought it would be funny to tie black balloons to the mailbox prior to the arrival of the birthday girl. Well, apparently this display caused some concern with the neighbor, who, upon seeing the balloons, went over to my sister's house to ask if our mother was alright. Now to be fair, I need to disclose that the neighbor was not born in this country and probably thought that this was some strange American thing, like don't ask don't tell or the Tea Party movement. Anyway, we did find it very sweet that he was so concerned. Maybe for the next party, we'll just stick to streamers - blue ones.

Fall is the time of year in Massachusetts where we like to sit on antique farm equipment in the middle of nowhere. It makes us look all New England-y. And stupid. And it's all fun and games until someone gets a rusty sprocket up their bum. Then it's just fun.

These are wasabi covered peanuts. Or as I like to call them, green legumes from the bowels of hell. I bought them on a whim and they are fairly innocuous when taken in small doses. However, I would not recommend eating them by the handful after an afternoon of Octoberfest celebrations OR with bubble gum flavored vodka. Just my two cents. Also, if you are going to ingest them in large amounts, just remember what goes up must come down just as what goes in must come out. Who in the world ever thought of coating peanuts with Japanese horseradish? There is a reason no one has ever done that with corn and it is the same reason not to do it with peanuts. Enough said.

What is your home town known for? Mine is the home of the world's largest kielbasa. Kind of funny that a lesbian is from a place where they are proud of their giant sausage. I should have been born in northern Alberta, Canada, the home of the world's largest beaver dam. Although, there is nothing like a good Polish plate. But then again, there is also nothing like a good --- oh never mind.

I thought I was having a bad week until I got this text from my pal Stiffy: Stiffy is having a hell of a week - want a good laugh?..I was picking Ty up @ schol...parked rite outside the door..leaving walking to car I trip over the curb & went down very hard on knees..couldn’t get up..skirt up in air & I have a thong on..everyone yelling OMG pull her skirt down..u poor thing u ok..get a chair..get ice...2 men had to lift me up in chair..nurse came out I’m surrounded by people...freaking nitemare...