Martini Cartwheels

The vast majority of reality television shows are geared for straight folks, and most recruit hetero hard-bodies to participate. That is why I am proposing a new genre of reality television, one which lesbians everywhere can relate to. Here, in no particular order, is what I would like to see: Survivor Ptown: Twenty-four ladies are divided into two flag football teams and left stranded on Herring Cove Beach with nothing but a case each of Miller Light and one pool table. Contestants must build shelter, find food, and fashion pool cues out of driftwood. Object is to out shoot, out smart, and out lay your opponents. The Butchelorette: A spin-off of the wildly popular heterosexual version, this show would have 14 beautiful fems vie for a successful, handsome butch. Instead of handing out roses at the end of each round, the Butchelorette would give a softball to each contestant that survives the cut. On the season finale, the Butcherlorette chooses one lucky lady and presents her

As I was driving to the casino this weekend, I convinced myself that it was ok to go spend a little money and have some fun. Dropping money in a casino may only buy you a little bit of excitement for the afternoon but at least it wasn't going to take up room in my garage, basement, or closet like so many other ghosts of purchases past. Juicers can really clutter up a kitchen cabinet. I bought one a few years back from a popular shopping channel. It was great fun until I realized that I did not routinely have six apples, three carrots, and fresh ginger root on hand every time I wanted a glass of juice. And let’s be honest here. What I really wanted to throw in that chopper was peanut butter cups, M&M’s and milk, which would have just clogged the thing up anyway. The hair remover gel looked great on the infomercial. Funny how the woman on the television didn't appear to be bleeding after pulling the gel covered strips off

Happy Thursday! What better way to close out your work week than to enjoy the foibles of a fellow working class compadre? My embarrassing work moments have a long history and unfortunately seem to follow me from one employer to the next. Clothing Mishaps Clothing mishaps are usually due to lack of sleep or a hangover. I’ve experienced minor issues, such as wearing two different color socks or sitting at my desk for hours with a dryer sheet sticking out of my sleeve. I’ve nipped potential incidents in the bud, such as the time I had my shirt on inside out. I fixed that one before any of my co-workers arrived by quickly reversing my top in my cube. Wrong Place Wrong Time I walked into a meeting and took my place at the conference table. A few of the regulars filed in along with a few not so regulars. Oh well, special guests I thought. Within 15 seconds of the start of the meeting I knew something was not right. "What are we talking about?” I asked myself. When it dawne