Martini Cartwheels

My friend's kitty loves his owners  More than your cat loves you. How, you may ask, do I know  These words to be true? For history tells us he could have  Hopped in that box and farted. But no, inside he went  And that good boy hearted.

A poem about ketchup: You can spread it on your burger,  You can squirt it on your fries. Just don't let that pointy end, Hit you in the eye. It's yummy on your breakfast eggs, It's tasty on your wiener. But don't get it on your white pants, Or you'll be headed to the cleaners.

Given my recent eating frenzy, I thought a re-post of this may be in order: Pumpkin this and pumpkin that, Fall is here and I feel fat. Cider donuts, apple pies, Adding inches to my thighs. Football snacks and mugs of beer, Up a size oh dear, oh dear. It's time to stop, it's time to quit, I think I felt my pants just split. Yeah Fall!!!!!!

I'm in the stall, I shut the door. I hear your feet and then see more Than just your shoes across the floor. In your hand I think I spy A camera lens and great big eye That's staring down my whoopee pie.

Banana walnut pancakes, chocolate chip waffles, and pies, Oh boy do my  jeans feel tight on my thighs. Triple decker clubs, eggs benedict, and chili cheese fries, If my ass gets any wider I'll need a much bigger size. What is your favorite diner food? I like to go for the breakfast master mix - 2 pancakes, 2 eggs, 2 pieces of sausage, cinnamon toast, and cranberry juice. Unless it is 1:30 AM, then I go for the Eggs Benedict. I love diners. The RT 9 Diner in Hadley, Massachusetts is my favorite. And it's open 24/7, just like my appetite. Perfect.