The results are in for some recent laboratory work I had done.

Cholesterol 261 - Guess I need to just stick to the wine and omit the cheese.
LDL,HDL, Triglycerides - Better work on those as well.
FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) - normal range is from 1.8 to 22.5, depending on when the specimen is drawn. My level is 88.3, which falls in the range for post menopausal women.

So I guess it is official. Menopause has arrived in all it's glory. I feel fine, except for those annoying hot flashes. And a couple of people told me I was more crabby than usual. Me crabby? I told them to kiss my ass. What do they know.

No, I am going to look upon this as a good thing. Late for work? Sorry, I was feeling a little tired from menopause. Forgot an important event? Gee, I can't seem to remember anything now that I am in menopause. You saw me give you the finger? Oh, it must be that darn menopause, it just makes me so irritable. Another typo on the blog? Menopause. You were going to take that parking spot? Sorry, I'm in menopause and I deserve it more than you do because I am older and wiser. Piss off.

See, it's not so bad after all ladies. Now excuse me please, I have to go stand in front of the freezer.


my best friend that just got married for her first time @ 45 was going through menopause. gave her double reason for her stressed out moods.

your post is funny, had me laughing!
Anonymous said…
Oh no! Looks like you forgot to have children before menopause struck!
Martha Marshall said…
I love this! Especially the crabby-and-kiss-my-ass part. Wish I'd thought of this when I could have used it!!
Anonymous said…
Hey CJ,
Join the club.

Hey... WTF? There are no letters for me to word verify. Blogger must be in a mood. (chuckle)
Shrinky said…
Hmph, I did have kids before reaching this point, I have an eldest daughter entering adolecence just as I am entering the change.. tears and tantrums everywhere (and that's just from hubby).

Gotta' run, I have a house full of windows to nail open..
SassyFemme said…
Just found your blog today from Living Lesbo. You have got to be one of the funniest bloggers around. Have loved reading through your stuff!
Oh Ms. Creek - A hot flash in a wedding dress. Now that must not be fun.

Honestly Rubye Jean, I don't think I am crabby but I guess I need to trust those fools around me who think I do. :)

Dang Blondie! I did. Do Yorkies count? Their small like kids and one even wears diapers.

Hi Martha - thanks for the visit. I actually feel a litte empowered now. Not that anyone is actually listening to me, but I still feel it none the less.
I feel like I am in good company Chewy. And just think of all the savings not having to buy tampons.
Sounds like Blogger may be in menopause as well.

LOL about the windows Shrinky. How is hubby handling all this? Has he entered manopause out of sympathy?
Hello Sassyfemme! Thank you for the visit and the nice comments. I will be sure and stop by for a visit. I love that Living Lesbo!

Wendy, I know. I mean I'm 44 and things started happening (or should I say not happening) back last winter when I was 43. In my head I still think I'm 25 though. You just keep on thinking I'm in my twenties Wendy. That works for me.
Velvet Ginger said…
I had to come back and read thsi again Cj. It's all just a part of life being a female, and it's cool that you have such a great sense of humor about it!!!
Anonymous said…
Very cute, CJ. :o)
Anonymous said…
Someone thinks you're in your twenties!?! tee hee
Awww, well, those hot flashes - they are part of the beauty of "being a woman," - which reminds me of the load of crap they tried to tell me when I started the whole menses experience. Like it's something "special" - they say nice things about both ends because they are afraid we'll kill them with our newfound dangerously fluctuating hormones.

And, Tricor has been a miracle drug for me and my hereditary high cholesterol.

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