Below are some of the items recently posted on 'Yard Sale' section of the company intranet site where I work. Comments in blue are what went through my head as I read down the list of treasures.
Free Toy - Free McDonald's Happy Meal toy in unwrapped packaging. "Hogsqueal" from The Spiderwick Chronicles.
Oh goody. A free toy worth 3 cents.
Free Old Dog Tags- Leftover 1996 dog tags Do you want one?
Sure. I'll hang them on my Dogwood tree next Christmas.
Free poster showing Dustin Hoffman - "Mr.Magorium's Wonder Emporium" poster, free.
I'd rather have a Bay Watch poster.
Free Halloween candy - One bagful of candy...about 20 items
A whole 20 pieces of free stale candy? Awesome. Can you recommend a free dentist to go with that?
Expired Dog Tags - Free year 2000 metal dog tags in plastic wrappers license number/year on each
Are these more valuable than the 1996 tags because they are in the original packaging?
How To Quilt Book - Topics include: making a baby quilt, sewing placemats, and making a tablecloth.Asking: $5 donation
Great. I'll put that on the shelf next to my How To Watch Paint Dry book.
Free Baked Beans Recipe
The gift that keeps on giving. This one comes with a free bottle of Beano.
Wanted: Irish flute - Want to buy an Irish flute if you have one
This person should contact the Baked Bean Queen above if they are looking for a way to make noise.
What's next? Here would be my contribution:
Five pairs of gym socks with holes
Two slightly used Tupperware containers
Seven buttons of different sizes and colors
One can brown shoe polish
Twenty-seven lint balls