Hey You! The One With The Tan And The Wine!

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Hey Bain de Soleil lady! I wish I had never listened to you. Sure, you're a hottie and you look really good with that tan. But I used that Orange Gelee #4 all through high school. After three visits to the dermatologist and 3 sun damaged areas removed from my skin, I think you owe me an apology.

I'm Whitey McPasty now and proud of it. And I'm the only person I know who goes on a cruise and comes back whiter then when they left. Take that, you scantily clad sun goddess with the gorgeous figure and personal butler.

If you're looking you can find me and my glass under an umbrella.

Comments

Mon said…
OMG...I can still remember what that stuff smells like. I was Ms. Lobster of the Desert when I was a kid. Our favorite "tanning" oil was baby oil...arrrgh...I used to love that Hawaiian Tropic Coconut smelling stuff too. Now I'm queen of the 75 spf sunscreen.
May 27, 2008 at 11:15 PM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Hey OC - I really wish I had never gotten those sunburns where my eyelids swelled and I turned bright red. Tanning was such the thing when I was in high school. The baby oil and iodine was popular here too. What were we thinking?
May 28, 2008 at 5:07 AM
Anonymous said…
CJ used that new Neutrogena Helioplex suntan lotion (doubt that they even call it suntan lotion) on the cruise and it was as-if she was wearing clown make-up! When they say it protects 7 layers of skin they're not kidding. And she really did come back whiter than when she left!
May 28, 2008 at 6:42 AM
Mon said…
I have no idea, but at least we can say we didn't know any better, that was back when a tan was considered "healthy"!
May 28, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Velvet Ginger said…
AZ has the highest amount of skin cancer in the nation, so everyone around here is pretty cautious of those deadly rays. My high school girl friend had skin cancer removed off of her face just last year & we grew up in Wy, we layed out slathered in baby oil.
Your commercial there depicts the societial view of running with the crowd to get the "look" the media dictates. Good point...good post!
I use sunscreen and get physically sick if I am out under the rays too long!
May 28, 2008 at 1:48 PM
Anonymous said…
I never use the stuff or any kind of suntan lotion until the last year or so..I would just tan..but either I am getting old or the ozone layer is disapearing becauser I burn now..not badly but way more than I used to,,
May 28, 2008 at 9:24 PM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Hey Belle - And here I was thinking the reason for all the clown comments was the red nose and big floppy shoes I was wearing!
May 29, 2008 at 6:44 AM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Hi Rubye Jean - Very insightful comment. And I didn't realize AZ had that distinction. I try too to be really careful now. It's just not worth it to me for a little color.
May 29, 2008 at 6:47 AM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Hey Robert - It does seem like the weather is changing doesn't it? I'm glad to hear you are using something now. I'm seeing the damage from 20 years ago now.
May 29, 2008 at 6:50 AM
Anonymous said…
We have tanning salons on just about every street corner. What's up with that?
May 29, 2008 at 8:15 AM
Martini Cartwheels said…
That still amazes me Chewy. I have friends at work who still go to tanning booths. I really thought those were just a fad. I can't imagine using a tanning booth now. I used to - in my twenties - but I would never do it again.
May 29, 2008 at 8:30 AM
Velvet Ginger said…
Tanning booths aren't good for you either. I have a friend here in AZ that NEVER layed out but went to the tanning beds often and had 3 cancer spots, and one mole that turned into cancer removed last year. I have to confess I use the "fake & bake" (out of a bottle)
May 29, 2008 at 9:24 AM
Anonymous said…
"Whitey McPasty" That's hilarious! Porcelain skin is in! Be proud :o)
May 31, 2008 at 9:18 PM
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