Screw you HD and your slogan. The only way I can do it and the only way you can help is to come to my house and do it for me. Explaining to me just how easy it is will not make the task simple.
I have a spot on my ceiling. I have been to HD three times now. First, for the spray can of Kilz to cover the spot. That made it worse. Next, for the small can of white paint. That didn't match. Yesterday it was for another spray can of some sort of evil pressurized texture paint that was made specifically for touching up popcorn ceilings.
I tried it. I shook and shook that freaking can till my hand was sore. Made sure I covered all exposed furniture. I put on a mask. Then I fired away. The stuff flew out of the can like projectile baby vomit flies out of a sick kid. On me, on the tarp, on parts of the floor I did not cover. Now it looks like I have a patch of Quaker Oats on my ceiling.
I don't care if this makes me a bad lesbian. I'm leaving this to the professionals who know I can't do it and don't care to show me.