A Tisket, A Tasket, My Friend Stiffy's Basket
Stiffy, you know I love you. But I can't hold back from commenting on this thing I found last week,neatly tucked away in the corner of your bedroom.
At first glance I thought it was a cleaning supply caddy, gaily decorated with a strip of pink fur and some groovy day-glo daisy stickers. As if that were not bad enough, further inspection revealed several bottles of pink and frosty nail polish, a giant emery board, and what I believe to be something to keep your toes spread eagle while you happily sip red wine and pretty up your feet. I'll give you kudos for that gadget,despite the pink color, as it was in the shape of little martini glasses. But really Stiffy, this is just too girly girl, even for you. Now go put that thing away in the back of your closet behind your yellow sun dress.
I am so buying you some motorcycle boots for you next birthday.