Not so straight up with a twist, a dose of irreverent nonsense awaits.
Maybe I Should Stick With Cathy
Those of you on Facebook have probably seen the latest status update going around - look up your name in Urban Dictionary and post the first definition as your status.
Here is what I found for Cathy:
The act of being extremely interesting, smart, cool, athletic, and just about every positive thing that a person can be.
Wow you were so Cathy!
I wish I were as Cathy as you!
Man you are so Cathy. If I were that Cathy I'd probably would have a pretty Cathy life!
Then I looked up CJ. I refuse to post the first definition. Here's the second, which I have edited:
Receiving a "strong breeze occupation" while you are in a coma.
I heard that Kiley gave Tim a CJ while Tim was recovering from that skiing accident.
That is just not my thing if you know what I mean. No offense anyone.
Kick-ass red-headed female pirate. Will randomly break into dance on a bus or in the middle of the street. Likes to steal sweet and sour chicken from other pirates. Stubborn and very violent. Moved away from friends and misses them terribly. Finds it hard to say I love you but still manages to screach various compliments across the phone-lines. Can be very humorous, but has a dirty mind.
Boy 1 : Dude, i really need to do something exciting I am so bored. Boy 2: Hey I know a good CJ! She can make anyone laugh! Boy 3 : WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? Together : LETS GO! *skip off into distance looking for CJ*
Change Boy 1, 2, and 3 to Girl 1, 2, and 3, red-headed to chemically enhanced dark brown, sweet and sour chicken to tuna grinders, very violent to very silly, and it may actually not be too far off.Shiver me timbers!
Up until last night, I thought I had tried everything. Dishwashing soap, dental floss, olive oil, two different kinds of hand lotion, ice, and Windex. I was just about to give up. However, my friends McMeaty and McCheesy were not. First came the WD-40 and lots of tugging. Standing over the kitchen sink, McMeaty gave it his all. Unfortunately the WD-40 not only lubed up my finger but his entire hand as well. No go there. Next came the dental floss. But the hand cream I had put on after the WD-40 only made the floss slip right off my finger without moving the ring. At this point, I had been sitting on the couch with my arm elevated for about ten minutes or so. This made the swelling go down quite a bit (thank you Chewy ). McMeaty was confident between the hand lotion and the reduction in swelling that another few pulls and twists would work. I sat on the couch, arm still elevated, while he patiently moved the ring up to my knuckle. Then wth a few more twists, turns, and tugging, the rin
In my twenties, my then girlfriend and I used to think it was a riot to take pictures of ourselves doing really stupid things. Giving ourselves weird hairstyles, wearing goofy clothes, or putting things in our teeth really made us laugh. I found these pictures today. They were taken about twenty years ago in Boston. This one is particularly lovely, bra on the outside of my clothes,hair all twisted on top of my head, raisin in my teeth. And yes, I believe I am wearing a towel for pants. This one of me reminds me of a British rock star who says no, no, no to rehab (sorry Amy). Again, a beautiful sight to behold. And lastly, my ex, she who shall not be named. I have cropped out the top of her head because I think she would sue me if she saw I put her picture up here without her permission. She is the one who started all of this raisin in the teeth foolishness and this post would not be complete without her picture.
A while back I did a post about super-gluing a Mickey Mouse figurine to my middle finger. This time I have somehow gotten a ring stuck on the same finger. And I can't get it off. I put the ring on yesterday afternoon. I knew I was going to have trouble as soon as I shoved it past my knuckle. My finger is starting to get a little sore from all the tugging and possibly a little swollen, which is obviously not helping matters. Doesn't the Universe realize I can't possibly drive to work in Boston without complete and total use of this finger? It is as necessary for the commute as is a tank of gas. How will I convey my true feelings to the "left hand turn from the right lane" folks I encounter every day? I cannot be mute for my commute! Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on how to remove the ring 1) without removing my finger and 2) while keeping the ring intact I would greatly appreciate it.