Saturday, September 12, 2009

I Would Have Preferred A Jelly Donut




Dear AssWipe Who Eff'd Up The Lawn Last Night,

I so want to thank you for your total lack of respect for other's property.  I've always said, why drive 20 extra feet to turn around in a driveway when you can just pull a u-ey on someone's grass. 

I wish I had looked out the window when I heard you speeding down the street. Not that I could have done anything to reverse the brain damage from which you currently suffer, but at least I could have given you the 'ol one finger salute and swore at you under my breath (don't want to wake the neighbors - that would be impolite).

I would very much like to meet you so I can place my foot up your ass. Sideways.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and please try to keep your tires on the road dickhead.

Lots of Love,

CJ

8 comments:

Mon said...

Oh no!!!! Can you make it look better before the grass quits growing? People are stupid, throw rocks at them!

Jude said...

Time to put up the 6 inch high spiked fence.

Kel said...

here here Jude!

lynt said...

when I read the headline i thought for a moment the damage occurred thanks to a donut delivery of some sort. wow. allergy meds cause big leaps in logic. spiked fences are good.

chewy said...

Hey dickhead go make your donuts on early morning noisy lawnmower man's yard... and leave CJ alone.

lesbo said...

what a jerk.
rude.
sorry, friend.

Tina-cious.com said...

Asshole (Him/her, not you. LOL)

Belle said...

I think I love Chewy. Her comment made me LOL.

Great letter, CJ. Just remember - whatever goes around comes around. Karma will get a*hole driver back.