I Would Have Preferred A Jelly Donut
Dear AssWipe Who Eff'd Up The Lawn Last Night,
I so want to thank you for your total lack of respect for other's property. I've always said, why drive 20 extra feet to turn around in a driveway when you can just pull a u-ey on someone's grass.
I wish I had looked out the window when I heard you speeding down the street. Not that I could have done anything to reverse the brain damage from which you currently suffer, but at least I could have given you the 'ol one finger salute and swore at you under my breath (don't want to wake the neighbors - that would be impolite).
I would very much like to meet you so I can place my foot up your ass. Sideways.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend and please try to keep your tires on the road dickhead.
Lots of Love,
Great letter, CJ. Just remember - whatever goes around comes around. Karma will get a*hole driver back.