Tell Me Something I Don't Know

Nightly News Anchors, you are pissing me off. We all know things are not good. And yet, I find it simply amazing that every single night you come into our homes, doing exactly the opposite of what you should.

Your typical broadcast starts with the same line every night: Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse......

You tell us how much the market has dropped then share the latest unemployment numbers (which are always staggering). About 20 minutes in, we're teased by the promise of a upcoming heartwarming story . Then comes the lead in - In this horrible economy, Americans are stepping up to help their neighbors even though the economy is rotten and no one has any money and did I mention that the economy sucks and CitiGMFordBankOfAmerica let go 20 million workers today and home values have plummeted and your sister's ass needs a bailout and more Americans are turning to crack. 

Just what I wanted to hear.  Maybe, just maybe, if you injected even a glimmer of hope about the economy into your broadcast, folks would start to spend a bit. But then again, if things turned around, what would you talk about? 


Mon said… many times do I have to tell you, you are listening to the wrong news...turn on RACHEL.....even if you don't get a glimmer of hope, you will pee your pants laughing your ass off...and in my experience laughing an ass off is a good way to get it't help myself.
Solo said…
Couldn't have said it better myself! Just remember that Broadcast news isn't necessarily journalism. OC is right about Rachel (Maddow) and try Amy Goodman at All this "bad news" was created by overpaid CEO's, greedy Bankers, and shady Politicians, NOT the American people. We're still good as gold (intentional pun)and as a group, I think we're pretty fed up with the way our money/investments are being squandered.
Great post!
This post reminds me of that song, "Just a Little Good News", do you remember it?

But you are right, the power of suggestion...
Anonymous said…
Amen sister. Their idea of 'good news' is the piece about more people helping the recessed / depressed among us. Enough already! I've given up my satellite radio -- needed music in the car instead of CNN...
Anonymous said…
Tonight I said to my Dad, "I'm not watching the evening news any more."
He asked, "Too depressing about the economy?"
Me, "Making my stomach nervous."

No cable in my house. I switched on PBS, BBC News... started off with a story about a man killing 10 people, then himself... UGH! Switched to Simpsons. Woo-Hoo!
LOL OC. Yes, I know you are right. Rachel would be better. But Katie is kind of cute too.

Thank you Solo. Bad news sells better than good I guess.

Hey Ms. Creek, not sure if I know that one or night. I may have to Google that one.

Hi Lyn! I'm guilty of listening to too much talk radio in the car. Time to put on some music.

Hey Chewy! I was watching the BBC the other night also. A story about a police officer in Belfast getting killed by the IRA came on. Bad news everywhere.
A. said…
I can't handle televised news for that much more sterile and calm in print.

So, I got sick of my IRA tanking and converted it all to cash - Friday. Smart, huh?

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