The Best Christmas Gift Ever

Guess what I got for Christmas? A stocking full of hot flashes. Thank you Santa!

Being only 43, I think this is some sort of cruel joke. At first I thought the rise in temperature was just the effects of global warming. But then I remembered global warming was happening outdoors, not in my clothes.

Possible relief? Well, I'm thinking of throwing on a pair of Depends and filling them with ice. Maybe streaking thorough my backyard at night in the snow would be both fun and helpful.

And oh joy, oh joy - I just read that this 'transition' usually starts several years before the actual event and lasts an average of 4 years but can continue for as long as 10. I could get another college degree in that time. While I'm in prison. Because PMS for me now stands for Pass My Shotgun. If this is just the opening act, I can't wait for the main attraction.

Now if you would please excuse me, I have to go throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.


Stealth said…
PMS- Pack My Stuff.

Don't feel too bad - my 38 year old pal, Michelle, just started her hot flashes. I personally will welcome them since I live in a state of cold. Feel cooler soon!
Thanks Stealth! 38 - Now I don't feel so bad.

Pack My Stuff - I like it!
Anonymous said…
I usually only get hot flashes at night. I, too, welcome them... like a warm hug. I'm coping just fine with this peri-menopause thing. No cramps, no backache. Saving lots of money not buying tampons. (smile) But I always keep a few on hand, just in case.
Anonymous said…
Welcome to the club!!!! I've been "hot" (having flashes that is) for the past couple of years. Isn't life grand???????
Anonymous said…
By the way, it's me...Joyce
Hi Chewy - Yes, night is worse for me too. But so far, like you, no other issues. Let's hope it stays that way for us both!
Joycie! Thanks for stopping by. I feel honored to be among such good company that feels the same way I do. Remember Ladies - they are not hot flashes - they are power surges!
Anonymous said…
Power Surges! Awesome! (laughs)
Anonymous said…
Wow, you're really old. Love ya!
Oh SJ, I think you have a birthday coming up this month don't you? Let's see, approaching mid-30's at warp speed are we?

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