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Chia Head

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Chia seeds. My latest health kick, along with aloe vera juice. Have you had aloe vera juice? Not the flavored aloe drinks but the actual juice? It tastes like a combination of b.o. and gasoline. Needless to say, I only managed to drink a few ounces of the stuff. Blondie has been holding her nose and gulping it down. Back to the chia. It has lots of fiber, protein and omega 3 and it tastes pretty good. I throw it on oatmeal, yogurt, or add it to juice. The fun with the chia is that those black little seeds find places to hide out in your teeth for hours. After lunch, I go to the women's room for a smile check. Then a couple of hours later, while you are in a meeting, one little seed that has been hiding behind your 3rd molar decides to come front and center. Hit the bathroom before driving home and you realize you had a lovely black thing or two  stuck in your choppers for the last half hour while presenting your point to group of colleagues. Now I understand why they make wh
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The Ring, Part 2

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Up until last night, I thought I had tried everything. Dishwashing soap, dental floss, olive oil, two different kinds of hand lotion, ice, and Windex. I was just about to give up. However, my friends McMeaty and McCheesy were not. First came the WD-40 and lots of tugging. Standing over the kitchen sink, McMeaty gave it his all. Unfortunately the WD-40 not only lubed up my finger but his entire hand as well. No go there. Next came the dental floss. But the hand cream I had put on after the WD-40 only made the floss slip right off my finger without moving the ring. At this point, I had been sitting on the couch with my arm elevated for about ten minutes or so. This made the swelling go down quite a bit (thank you Chewy ). McMeaty was confident between the hand lotion and the reduction in swelling that another few pulls and twists would work. I sat on the couch, arm still elevated, while he patiently moved the ring up to my knuckle. Then wth a few more twists, turns, and tugging, the rin
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Paper Strips. I Don't.

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You know what's a pain in the ass? Shredding bills and bank statements.  It's time consuming, it's messy, and one box of paper creates three trash bags full of 1.5 inch X .3 inch paper strips. I want my bills to now be sent on cheese. That way when I shred them, I can at least at do something with the by-product. Put it on a sandwich, throw it on some pasta, toss it on top of some corn chips - all of which is better than trying to shove 20 pounds of paper into a trash bag meant to hold no more than 10 pounds. Great nachos CJ! Why thank you. That's my electric bill you are eating. I shred everything. Cable bill? Shred that bad boy. Don't need anyone seeing what extras I rented (don't judge!). Phone bills? What if someone finds my itemized statement and starts crank calling my relatives? Shred it too! Retirement statements? No one has to know I need to work for another 70 years. Shred, shred, shred! Amazon receipts? Ohhhh no. None of your bees wax. Yes, I
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