Sing, Sing A Song

Ever done a sing-a-long at a nursing home? It just so happens there was one at the nursing home where my mother Irene resides and I was lucky enough to be visiting at the time.

Irene was complaining about how boring these sing-a-longs are. The activities director passed out the song sheets and put on the music. Irene pouted.

So in order to make it more fun for her, I modified the lyrics a bit. What the hell I thought - everyone in there is deaf and I was positioned just behind Irene where I could whisper the new lyrics in her ear.

Here's a sampling of some of the songs we sang (with modified titles for added enjoyment):

My Drunken Irish Nose

School Gays

Homo On The Range

Oh You Beautiful Blow Up Doll

Sometimes instead of changing the title of the song within the lyrics, I changed an entire line:

Give My Regards To Broadway

Whisper of how I'm yearning,

To mingle with the old time throng,

Give my regards to old Broadway

And say that I'll be wearing my thong.

There's A Long Long Trail

There's a long, long night of waiting
Until my dreams all come true;
Till the day when I'll be going down
Going, down on you.

Red River Valley

Come and sit by my side, if you love me

Do not hasten to bid me adieu

Just remember the Red River Valley

And the time that I pooped on your shoe.

And the best part of all of this nonsense - Irene was laughing out loud. She

gets a a real kick out of her potty mouth youngest daughter. Never stop

laughing.