You're Kidding Me Right?
Federal fucking jury duty?! From September 7th - October 29th?! NOOOOOOO!
Five reasons why I can't do this (and that the judge won't give a shit about):
1. I'm the project lead on a major software upgrade at work and the only full time application developer for this product. That time frame coincides with the middle of the project.
2. I have an MD appointment in October that I scheduled back in March.
3. I have a mammogram that I scheduled last September.
4. I hate jury duty.
5. Women's Week in Provincetown, The Eastern States Exposition, leaf peeping in Vermont - need I say more?
I don't believe jury duty is my civic obligation. I think it's a civic obligation not to get arrested.
So how do I get out of this? Maybe mention on my questionnaire that I was verbally accosted by an Irish Muslim transsexual born-again South American blind dwarf? Does that cover all the bases? Should I show up to jury duty wearing my Winnie The Pooh pajamas, a cowboy hat, and penny loafers?
Any and all suggestions appreciated.