Friday, July 9, 2010

You're Kidding Me Right?

Federal fucking jury duty?! From September 7th - October 29th?! NOOOOOOO!

Five reasons why I can't do this (and that the judge won't give a shit about):
1. I'm the project lead on a major software upgrade at work and the only full time application developer for this product. That time frame coincides with the middle of the project.
2. I have an MD appointment in October that I scheduled back in March.
3. I have a mammogram that I scheduled last September.
4. I hate jury duty.
5. Women's Week in Provincetown, The Eastern States Exposition, leaf peeping in Vermont - need I say more?

I don't believe jury duty is my civic obligation. I think it's a civic obligation not to get arrested.

So how do I get out of this? Maybe mention on my questionnaire that I was verbally accosted by an Irish Muslim transsexual born-again South American blind dwarf? Does that cover all the bases? Should I show up to jury duty wearing my Winnie The Pooh pajamas, a cowboy hat, and penny loafers?

Any and all suggestions appreciated.



9 comments:

Propane Amy said...

They usually give you a questionnaire when they send you the notice. You can get the jist of what the thing is about by the questions they ask. So just tell them what they don't wanna hear!! LOL

Nulaanne said...

I have jury duty on July 26 thu the 30th. I am not looking forward to it. Having worked graveyard for the past 6 years I do not sleep a night anymore. I can see me sitting in the box snoring away.

McMeaty said...

Here's a few ideas....

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-Jury-Duty

Ms. Creek said...

i would totally love to do jury duty! lol am i strange or what?

CJ said...

Works for me Amy! I may ask for for my fellow bloggers opinions on how to answer.

Oh Nulaanne - that stinks. There should be some sort of pool of people who want Jury Duty that they can pick from. Like Ms. Creek below!

Thank you McMeaty! You get an A+ for sending along that link.

Ms. Creek! How would you like to fly up to Mass and pretend to be me for a month or two?

Ms. Creek said...

well, if you'll come direct my 130 junior high choir students...

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ,
Scott was able to get out of serving jury duty because of a big project at work. He explained his situation to the judge. The judge asked if he would be willing to serve another time, Scott said yes, and the judge dismissed him.
Good luck!!
Cathy

Shrinky said...

What?? I was CRUSHED, proper, truly CRUSHED, to be excused Jury duty (that feckless husband of mine wrote in, behind my back, I might add, telling of all the valid reasons why had I to be excused. Sheesh, idiot man, leaving my kids home alone would have been a BONUS, not a bloomin' drawback)!

There is a story behind this - see, my brother in law runs the courthouse, and when my name came up, he peeked ahead and gave me the nod I'd be sitting in on a juicey murder trial. Oh, I was salavitating over all the grizzly blog posts this would throw up.

Took me weeks to talk to my almost-ex again. (I'll be pleased to inpersonate you on the day, whaddya' say??)

CJ said...

Good to know Mrs. Moto. Thank you for that information. I'm hoping that works for me too!

Ok Shrinky, I do admit that it would probably be very interesting to get seated on some cases. But yes, just for this time, would you impersonate me please? You can practice being me by dropping F bombs, complaining a lot, and dining out several times a week. That should work!