Questions, Questions

-
How many questions does one have to answer before you are actually allowed to pump the gas?

1. Rewards Card? -----> I hit Yes

2. Point Balance is 500 - Redeem? ------> I hit No

3. Debit Card? -------> I hit No

4. Car Wash Today? -----> I hit No

5. Would you like a receipt? ------> I hit No

6. Pap Smear? ------> I ran away.

Comments

Solo said…
If 500 bonus points are worth a "Pap smear", what the hell do ya get for a thousand???
October 4, 2011 at 11:14 PM
Martini Cartwheels said…
Glad you asked that Solo. For one thousand you get a colonoscopy with your car wash.
October 16, 2011 at 10:59 AM
Taradharma said…
excellent post -- those gas pumps have been driving me nuts for awhile now. Now the insult to injury: "we will charge .45 for the use of your debit card. Is this okay?"

Well, no, it's not okay, but I've run the gauntlet and am ready to pump my gas so...what am I going to do? Pack up and go to another station?
October 16, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Ring, Part 2

-
Image
Up until last night, I thought I had tried everything. Dishwashing soap, dental floss, olive oil, two different kinds of hand lotion, ice, and Windex. I was just about to give up. However, my friends McMeaty and McCheesy were not. First came the WD-40 and lots of tugging. Standing over the kitchen sink, McMeaty gave it his all. Unfortunately the WD-40 not only lubed up my finger but his entire hand as well. No go there. Next came the dental floss. But the hand cream I had put on after the WD-40 only made the floss slip right off my finger without moving the ring. At this point, I had been sitting on the couch with my arm elevated for about ten minutes or so. This made the swelling go down quite a bit (thank you Chewy ). McMeaty was confident between the hand lotion and the reduction in swelling that another few pulls and twists would work. I sat on the couch, arm still elevated, while he patiently moved the ring up to my knuckle. Then wth a few more twists, turns, and tugging, the rin
Read more

Oops, I Did It Again

-
Image
A while back I did a post about super-gluing a Mickey Mouse figurine to my middle finger. This time I have somehow gotten a ring stuck on the same finger. And I can't get it off. I put the ring on yesterday afternoon. I knew I was going to have trouble as soon as I shoved it past my knuckle. My finger is starting to get a little sore from all the tugging and possibly a little swollen, which is obviously not helping matters. Doesn't the Universe realize I can't possibly drive to work in Boston without complete and total use of this finger? It is as necessary for the commute as is a tank of gas. How will I convey my true feelings to the "left hand turn from the right lane" folks I encounter every day? I cannot be mute for my commute! Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on how to remove the ring 1) without removing my finger and 2) while keeping the ring intact I would greatly appreciate it.
Read more

Smile Pretty!

-
Image
In my twenties, my then girlfriend and I used to think it was a riot to take pictures of ourselves doing really stupid things. Giving ourselves weird hairstyles, wearing goofy clothes, or putting things in our teeth really made us laugh. I found these pictures today. They were taken about twenty years ago in Boston. This one is particularly lovely, bra on the outside of my clothes,hair all twisted on top of my head, raisin in my teeth. And yes, I believe I am wearing a towel for pants. This one of me reminds me of a British rock star who says no, no, no to rehab (sorry Amy). Again, a beautiful sight to behold. And lastly, my ex, she who shall not be named. I have cropped out the top of her head because I think she would sue me if she saw I put her picture up here without her permission. She is the one who started all of this raisin in the teeth foolishness and this post would not be complete without her picture.
Read more