Stop Harping On Me

It's been a little over 2 months since my mother Irene passed away. I've been reading books about orphaned adults, the death of one's mother, and Kitchen Confidential. Hey, I need some diversions.

Irene had been on hospice care for about 6 months. On the day her passing seemed imminent, the nursing home rolled a cart into Irene's room for my sister and me with enough coffee, tea, juice, water, muffins, snacks, fruit, and cookies to feed a small army. Or, as I like to call a small army, me. Hospice brought us a booklet called When Death Is Near. To be honest, we enjoyed the cart much better.

After their morning visit,the hospice nurses told us that things were progressing along. They asked me if I wanted a harp. I was surprised because I didn't think you could serve beer in a nursing home. Then light dawned over my Marblehead and I realized they were talking about an actual harp, the instrument.  How strange I thought. Yes, this day is not quite sad enough. Please bring in a harp, a chorus of war orphaned children in wheelchairs, and several homeless pets set to be euthanized in 24 hours. That's the ticket.

I declined the offer. I don't think Irene would have liked the harp. However, I know she loved the Elvis hymns we played at her visitation and funeral.

I've seen butterflies twice since Irene's passing. One landed on my hip when I was visiting my parent's grave sites. I've read that our loved ones, once passed, can channel their energy into small creatures like butterflies and birds in order to pay us a visit. I believe it. And I'm enjoying the company.

**Please note: The hospice team at my mother's nursing home was awesome. Truly. Except for the harp ; )


weese said…
really. this small creatures and birds thing?
We too had an amazing hospice team with my mom. We were at home - rather than in the facility (mostly because things happened so fast there was no time or need to transfer)
Shortly after she died we bought a new house (we had been actually delaying this during her illness), which took us some time to move in to due to renovation.
But after we were here a short time we had an unusual visitor.

A yellow crowned night heron came to our yard for several nights in a row (this is a big bird...stands over 2 feet tall). It simply showed up each evening and stayed for some time. It just kinda stood and hung out in the back yard, poking around a bit.
The bird was not afraid of us. In fact, I would sit on the back stoop talking to him. He (we named him Albert) was unfazed by this.
After about a week - he was gone.
I've always felt this was her... somehow. checking in. staying long enough to make sure everything was alright, always the doubter that one.
Hey Weese. First, my condolences about your Mom. People who have not gone through this loss may not be able to realize how tough losing your mother really is. I looked up a yellow crowned night heron - they are beautiful, exotic and regal - a perfect creature for a Mom to channel her energy through. Was your Mom a strong person? My Mom was quiet and a bit of wall flower socially. So for her, the butterfly works well. Perhaps your Mom preferred something with a little more personality. Anyway, I do believe it was your Mom, making sure her daughter was doing ok. Peace.

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