You Are Sunk
I was just out skimming the pool, thinking how horrible it would be if I fell in because it has been less than 30 minutes since I ate those crackers.
Growing up in the 70's I was never told by my parents to wear a bike helmet or to use sunblock. What I did learn however, were the dangers of swimming, either in a pool or the ocean, without waiting 30 minutes after eating.
Apparently several things can happen if you do not obey this law of nature.
Growing up in the 70's I was never told by my parents to wear a bike helmet or to use sunblock. What I did learn however, were the dangers of swimming, either in a pool or the ocean, without waiting 30 minutes after eating.
Apparently several things can happen if you do not obey this law of nature.
- You will immediately sink to the bottom with no chance of survival.
- You will be able to swim fine for the first minute or so, but shortly thereafter cramp up so bad that you will sink to the bottom. Again, with no chance of survival.
- Your tunafish sandwich will decide to "repeat" on you, travel up your esophagus, spill over into your windpipe, and choke the living shit out of you until you sink to the bottom. NCOS.
- You will suffer a gas pain so debilitating that you will fold over in two like a clothespin, lose all sense of direction, and sink to the bottom. NCOS.
- You will have a toilet emergency, fall off the ladder trying to run out of the pool, hit your head, and sink to the bottom. NCOS.
Now get out there and enjoy the summer weather. Oh, and don't forget to use the footpan* to wash the grass off your feet before entering the pool.
*You know, the footpan. That old dishpan your parents would drag out from the kitchen, fill with water, and place in front to the ladder so you could wash your feet before hopping in.
*You know, the footpan. That old dishpan your parents would drag out from the kitchen, fill with water, and place in front to the ladder so you could wash your feet before hopping in.
Comments
Footpans are used at a retreat I go to, where people are entering and exiting hot tubs and cold plunges. It really does keep down the muck, I promise you.
Here's to swimming in the spot!
Of course, for us, the danger was very real. If you got a cramp from eating a peach and then swimming, the sharks could get you.
No helmets here either. Usually no seat belts either. Plus my parents smoked in the car on the way to vacation. And the radio was only AM...