Why You May Not Want to Invite Me To Your Next Tupperware Party

Is there a name for those parties where a product line is demonstrated and then folks have the opportunity to purchase items? I love those parties. But you may not want to invite me to your next one for the following reasons:

• Are you going to have lots of tasty snacks? Yes? Great. Because I don't cook. And since these parties tend to be held on a Sunday afternoon sometime between lunch and dinner, I will be starving and hit your cheese and cracker platter like I am going to the electric chair.
• Will there be some sort of punch with a kick? Or wine? No worries if there isn't any. I will bring my own. Back to the timing of these parties - what better way to not let your Sunday spoil your Monday than to get your drink on.
• This is the reason you will want me to attend. See that bullet above? Because of that punch or wine I will buy a lot of product. And by a lot, I mean half the catalog. I love live demos, newfangled gadgets, and anything that makes my life easier. Bring it!

I went to a cleaning product party last Sunday. Come Monday, I had gained five pounds, had a hangover, and was eagerly awaiting my order of every item on pages 1 - 27.

I look forward to your invitation with bated breath and check book in hand.