Sunday, February 9, 2014

Bite Me With My Mother's Teeth

Might as well start off February with a post about Irene, my 88 year old mother.

Irene is at the point where "elderly paranoia" has set in. She doesn't trust most of the nurses aids which is very sad, as she depends on them for just about all of her needs. There are certain people you should always be nice to - your hairstylist, your phlebotomist, and your nurse's aid.

Anyway, I'm visiting with Irene a couple of weeks ago and she tells me how the aids try to take out her teeth at night. And I tell her that yes, of course they do, because you have false teeth and you normally don't sleep with your teeth in. The reason they want her teeth, according to Irene, is to give them to a little boy, who "evidently has awful teeth".

So now I'm picturing an 8 year old boy, running around with my mother's false teeth in his mouth, sporting a big ol' grin and sucking on a lollipop.

But let's not stop there. Because I also imagine he is wearing my mother's clothes. They take those away too at night (the concept of pajamas seems to also have been lost by Irene). This poor kid must take a lot of ribbing at school.

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