Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Overly Friendly Skies


Ok, so nobody told me you are supposed to empty your pockets prior to stepping into the body scanner at the airport. And apparently, having your pocket light up on the screen is considered to be a bad thing by the TSA. Four pockets must be really bad since it warranted an emptying and examination of everything in my pockets, a pat down, a hand-swab-check-for-bomb-residue thingy, and an admonishing from the TSA agent for trying to put my shoes back on while waiting for the test results of said hand swab. Sorry!

Here's what I had in my pockets: wallet, luggage keys on a key chain, money, gum, tissues, several individually wrapped hard candies, a pen, and folded up papers with flight info. The agent went through my wallet, opened my pack of gum ( I should have offered her some) , and felt up my jean's pockets, back and front. She was cute so I didn't mind. I just love a girl in a uniform. All for the common good right?

Things just got better from that point on - a two hour delay for maintenance on the connecting flight (very comforting), a full plane with a one noisy child the next row over and a guy coughing up a lung in the seat behind me, and bacteria in the water line.

Anyway, I'm finally home from my conference in Nashville. I'm beat. Nighty night.

*Please ignore all typos for my brain is sleepy.


5 comments:

Laine said...

Here's how it really happened: Ceej spied the "cute" TSA Agent ahead and quickly restuffed her pockets with everything she could grab out of the gray plastic bin, PRAYING that she'd get felt up!

Thankfully, she left her Toys-in-Babeland "prosthetic appendage" at home....this time!

Glad you made it safe and sound, Honey!

cheesegal said...

Amateur! Rookie!!! Just kidding CJ-glad you're back home!

LilliGirl said...

Ha ha ha, Laine. :)

Sounds like a miserable tip to me regardless of the cute agent.

Taradharma said...

you and Laine are giving me good pointers on how to get felt up by cute babe TSA agents! Thanks!

I, too, like a babe in uniform: cops, firefighters (grrr), UPS drivers, and those cute french maids....I'm a butch and femme equal opportunity kinda gal.

McMeaty said...

The Take Scissors Away people are very thorough.