Embarrassing Work Moments Summary To Date

Happy Thursday!

What better way to close out your work week than to enjoy the foibles of a fellow working class compadre? My embarrassing work moments have a long history and unfortunately seem to follow me from one employer to the next.

Clothing Mishaps

Clothing mishaps are usually due to lack of sleep or a hangover. I’ve experienced minor issues, such as wearing two different color socks or sitting at my desk for hours with a dryer sheet sticking out of my sleeve. I’ve nipped potential incidents in the bud, such as the time I had my shirt on inside out. I fixed that one before any of my co-workers arrived by quickly reversing my top in my cube.

Wrong Place Wrong Time

I walked into a meeting and took my place at the conference table. A few of the regulars filed in along with a few not so regulars. Oh well, special guests I thought. Within 15 seconds of the start of the meeting I knew something was not right. "What are we talking about?” I asked myself. When it dawned on me that I was sitting in a meeting to which I had not been invited, I put my head down and began to take notes. Image is everything.

Water, Water Everywhere

I carry a backpack to work. Inside the backpack are notebooks in which I track my work, my planner, and miscellaneous items like my water bottle. One day, as I approached my building, I could feel the back of my pants were wet. Apparently the little do-hickey thingy (technical term) for my water bottle popped off without me noticing. The bottle had leaked in the backpack and onto my backside, wetting all my notebooks and my bottom. So glad I wore khakis that day. I see London, I see France, looks like CJ wet her pants.

Gum Bum and Pee Pee Pants

My most unrecoverable incident was probably the time I went outside for lunch to enjoy some fresh air and I sat in a big wad of melted green gum, a sticky situation at best. Unless you have a change of pants you are pretty much screwed on this one. Fortunately, a caring work friend loaned me her hoodie to wrap around my waist for the rest of the day.

I’ve peed on my pants leg at work. I'm a squatter. I know sitting on a public toilet will probably not bring me irreparable harm but I just can’t do it. Hovering can be tricky business however - one rogue stream and you've got yourself a pair of pee pee pants. Luckily this happened at the end of the day. I quickly walked behind the buildings to the parking lot, glancing behind and downward to make sure the offending spot was not standing out too much.

How To Make A Good Impression

I remember one job interview I had many years ago. To my surprise, I knew one of the women that worked there. We hugged and kissed on the cheek as old friends do. I interviewed with two or three people that day. I was happy with how things went and was fairly certain I would be offered the job. I walked back to my car all pleased with myself. I got in the car, buckled myself in, and looked in my rear view mirror before backing out of my parking spot. Then I saw it. My friend in the office wore bright red lipstick and apparently thought I needed some as well as she had left a big red lip print on the side of my face. It would have looked ok if I was interviewing for clown school but it wasn't such a good look for your typical office. I just wish I hadn't worn such big shoes that day.

Here’s hoping you all have an incident free day.

*Embarrassing Work Moments Summary To Date is a re-post of an essay I originally wrote for Our Big Gayborhood.