Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Name That Leftover


Age: 5 Days
Source: Family Style Restaurant
Place of Origin: Wilbraham, Massachusetts
Price: $8.00 for a pair
Would I get this again: Probably
Did this give me a stomach ache: No
Did this give me gas: No
Goes well with: Beer, White Wine (what doesn't?)
Miscellaneous Note: Lactaid may be necessary prior to eating this, a defibrillator may necessary be post consumption.

I am a ?



Sunday, June 12, 2011

My Drawers Are Buzzing

Why is my cell phone in the toothpaste drawer? And why is the toothpaste on the counter?

Must have been a fun night. Somebody please tell me I didn't do karaoke.

A cheeseburger, chocolate shake, and fries at 11:00pm? That PuPu Platter for 3 must not have filled me up.

The diet starts today. Right after I finish up those leftover crab rangoons.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

That Voodoo That You Do



My niece recently took a business trip to New Orleans and brought me back a Voodoo Doll. It came complete with pins and instructions. I'm thinking of bringing it to work and keeping it on my desk. Will that look bad?

It's been said that those currently under the influence of a Voodoo spell will not be able to read the words printed on the inside of the doll case (shown above). I have no problem so I'm thinking I am ok.

I won't actually use it of course, as I am pretty superstitious and I wouldn't want to put the whammy on anyone, even someone who is a total pain in the ass. Plus, I would first have to get a piece of their hair and it would look odd to walk up to someone pull out a lock from their head. They might get mad and kick me in the shins.

The doll can be used for good. There are pins for success, power, spirituality, money, and love, each one represented by a different color. I am going to add an amber colored pin for Sam Adams lager, as you never know when you may be in an establishment that only serves PBR in cans.

I've never seen or owned one of these. I don't think they are that easy to find. It's not like they make an American Girl Voodoo Doll.

Thanks to my niece for thinking of me. And thanks for bringing me home the doll instead of the shrunken head.




Say What?

How do you handle speaking in front of a group of people? I don't have to do it that often, only twice since I've been at my recent job, but it is not something I feel very comfortable doing.

Inevitably, I found myself in that place where my mouth is moving and words are coming out but my brain is three steps ahead trying to think of the next thing to say. And then at some point the brain stops thinking, the mouth catches up, and I wind up saying something that just doesn't flow quite right.

Also, I never know quite how to finish the talk. I call it my Porky Pig moment. "And that's what we hope to accomplish with this upgrade. Tha tha tha that's all folks."

The other things I worry about are probably pretty common. Is my fly up? Will I have a choking fit? What if there are technical difficulties? How the hell do I pronounce this person's last name? Will anyone notice I peed in my pants? Will that shot of vodka alter my speech?

If anyone of you have any tips, I would love to hear them. Until then - tha tha tha that's all folks.


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Waiting For The Storm To Pass Through This Part Of The State

I am currently sitting on the floor in the Sheraton Hotel in Framingham. I pulled in off the highway about 30 minutes ago. Tornadoes have touched down in western Mass and are moving through the state.

A few minutes after entering the building, the alarm sounded and we were instructed to move to the basement. Waiting out the storm...


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Location:Goodnow Ln,Framingham,United States