Sunday, April 24, 2016

How To Ace Your Annual Employee Review

If you work for an organization that has a fiscal year starting July 1, you may be preparing for your annual merit review. Sometimes this process is accompanied by the "pre-review"  questionnaire where you write down all the great things you did during the year. It usually starts off something like this: "Highlight your major accomplishments for the 2016 fiscal year. Please include specific references to each time you restrained yourself from choking the living shit out of a co-worker."


I believe the pre-review is an outdated method of accurately accessing an employee's accomplishments. Therefore I would like to propose that from now on, the employee pre-review consists entirely of interpretive dance, performed while wearing an unitard, set to a Mongolian throat singing soundtrack.

Sound good? Great. Now get practicing!

3 comments:

8thday said...

I'm sad that you post so infrequently these days as your posts never fail to make me laugh. Often out loud. Sometimes snorting liquid all over my keyboard.

pawsingtospeak said...

I would really like them to wear something way more... not clingy...
But it is a fun time of year!

Martini Cartwheels said...

Thank you 8thDay and Pawsing for your comments. They encourage me to post more :)