Plug This

I have too many cords. There's the cord to charge my personal laptop and the cord to charge my work laptop. There's a cord for my iPhone and one for my iPad. There's a cord for the keyboard that works with the iPad. There's a cord for the e-reader. There's a cord to charge the phone in the car. The cord for my new iPhone does not match the cord for my old iPhone. Same for the iPad. Add two more. You're getting my drift. And right about now you are wishing you could unplug me.

Below is the new and more descriptive definition of "cord":


Cord

/kôrd/

noun

1. A string like object encased in a plastic that houses electrical wires used for charging all your must have devices. Cords are many times unique to the object for which they were designed. Therefore, your typical household will accumulate 7000 to 10,000 cords over the span of five years. Cords have the ability to form complicated twists, turns, and knots with themselves and other cords if placed in a drawer overnight. Cords also have exceptional timing and will hide themselves right before you need them, especially if you are running late to work or an appointment. Cords mock you when you are not looking. They know that without them, you cannot power your FaceBook, Twitter, and Pintrest addictions. They are also aware that you will never dispose of them. Because at some point after they have outlived their usefulness, you will move them to a plastic storage bin where they will live in your attic or cellar for the duration of time. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have a box of cords. I'd like to say they are all nicely folded and twisty tied, but it would be fib. 90% of them I have no clue as to their purpose - but if you ever want to get that old atari back online - I might have the cord :)

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