Thursday, March 22, 2012

Where's The Other Half?

If you were charged full price at a restaurant and only got half a steak, you would probably complain. Well, I paid full price for an airline ticket and I expected a full size plane.

Why is this considered an "express" flight? Maybe it's because you can only bring 8 items or less on your carry on. Otherwise, it won't fit under your seat or in the overhead purse.

Half a plane warrants half a blog post. The end.



Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Overly Friendly Skies


Ok, so nobody told me you are supposed to empty your pockets prior to stepping into the body scanner at the airport. And apparently, having your pocket light up on the screen is considered to be a bad thing by the TSA. Four pockets must be really bad since it warranted an emptying and examination of everything in my pockets, a pat down, a hand-swab-check-for-bomb-residue thingy, and an admonishing from the TSA agent for trying to put my shoes back on while waiting for the test results of said hand swab. Sorry!

Here's what I had in my pockets: wallet, luggage keys on a key chain, money, gum, tissues, several individually wrapped hard candies, a pen, and folded up papers with flight info. The agent went through my wallet, opened my pack of gum ( I should have offered her some) , and felt up my jean's pockets, back and front. She was cute so I didn't mind. I just love a girl in a uniform. All for the common good right?

Things just got better from that point on - a two hour delay for maintenance on the connecting flight (very comforting), a full plane with a one noisy child the next row over and a guy coughing up a lung in the seat behind me, and bacteria in the water line.

Anyway, I'm finally home from my conference in Nashville. I'm beat. Nighty night.

*Please ignore all typos for my brain is sleepy.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Disney - A Dog's Interpretation

Boo Boo, Pippa, and Hillary have created a work of art. Yes, the girls have combined their talents to make Mickey Mouse on a pee pee pad. I'll start the bidding at $10,000.

Who's the leader of the club that's made of dog pee pee?
M-I-C, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E!
Hey there, hi there, ho there, you're as yellow as can be.
M-I-C, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E!
Mickey Mouse! (Donald Duck!) Mickey Mouse! (Donald Duck!)
Forever let us keep their peepers dry, dry, DRY, DRY!!
Come along and sing the song and pass the toiletries.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E



*Oh Oh. This is my second post in a row about pee pee. Time to move on to something else.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Tea, Pee, And A Bathroom Pond

I normally don't drink tea before heading out the door or have a second cup in the car or hit a 40 minute back up. The perfect storm - in my bladder. Oh there's going to be a big wave alright. In my pants.

I walked into the women's room at the rest stop and saw two ladies wearing knee high boots and holding a hose. The look on my face must have said it all. But they told me the bathroom was open so I walked through the 1/2 inch of water on the floor and headed into a stall. The seat was wet, the handle was wet, even the toilet paper was wet. Eeeeewwwwww. All I could think of was all the germs that were once on the objects in the bathroom were now on the floor - and I was standing in them.

Thank goodness the woman in the next stall, who was equally as horrified, had fairly dry toilet paper and was willing to share.

Not that it mattered. The nastiness of it all threw my game off. My hover was a bit too forward. And I'm pretty sure I peed on the back of my pants leg.

Hope you had a pisser Monday as well.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

A Night At Stiffy's Part 2

As I mentioned in the last post, I spent a couple of nights at Stiffy's house this week. I like staying at her house. She is a great person and I always find something to blog about, especially after I use the bathroom. When I saw this on the counter I didn't know whether I should eat it with a spoon, dip some bread in it, or put it in my hair.


Stiffy has two young sons. Both are just so sweet to me. The older son said it wasn't like having a friend of his Mom's staying over when I visit because I like to hang out and chat with him. I was more like a grandmother. I was hoping for aunt or maybe cousin.

I got to sleep in the younger boy's room. All snuggly buggly in the Thomas the Train sheets, I looked up at the ceiling only to see a huge face with buck teeth staring back. Agghhhhhh! WTF Stiffy, are you trying to give me a heart attack?




Hope you all have a great weekend and are blessed to have buddies like Stiffy.

In A Loaner Car With My Stiffy

We had snow a couple of days this past week. Instead of making the commute from Boston to western Mass, I stayed over Stiffy's house.

Stiffy's car was in the shop but she did have a loaner - a Subaru that had to have gotten quite a bit of use over the past 15 years or so.

We had to go meet Stiffy's ex to pick up some things that belonged to her boys. The ex works for the state. He helps with plowing and sanding. I got to spend some quality time with my girl Stiffy while waiting for the ex to arrive. And although the location says Faneuil Hall Marketplace, it is definitely not Faneuil Hall.