Sunday, February 26, 2012

Happy 87th Birthday Irene!

We celebrated Irene's 87th birthday this past week. Highlights included:
  • Irene calling her 3 year old great grandson Daniel by the name Donald all evening
  • Irene's table-mate Josie calling Daniel by the name Shannon all evening (Shannon is my niece and Daniel's mother)
  • Josie sharing the story of how the last time she was on a horse she laughed so hard she peed her pants
  • Serving cake to Irene and her friends and then 10 minutes later answering the question"Did I have a piece of cake?"
  • Seeing Irene actually smile


Monday, February 20, 2012

Who Said What Where?

My buddy Dawna of Kada Films left this very clever comment on my recent Candy Girl post. The following is a list of quotes from some of her favorite movies. Can you name the movie from which the following quotes originate? First one to get all ten wins a gently used pair of granny panties. Oh, and I added one of my favs at the end of the list.

1. Rosebud
2. Ditto
3. My Precious
4. Sssmokin!
5. We'll always have Paris
6. Resistance is futile
7. Yippee-ki-yay, mf
8. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good
9. Have fun storming the castle
10. Those who are tardy will not get fruit cup
11. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.



I'm Gonna Wash That Spare Right Out Of My Hair

A little while back, I wrote a post about the merkin. There's something about which I have been curious ever since. And finally, this weekend, my question has been answered.



Oh sure, the spelling may be different. But that is just a clever ruse. Those of us in the know are happy we no longer have to stock up on Woolite and Liquid Plumber. My weekends just got a whole lot less busy. Oh happy day!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Candy Girl

Remember when you were in grammer school and you used to go around passing out Valentine's Day cards to your classmates? And those candies - the ones with the little sayings like "Be Mine", "Purr-fect", "Love You", "You're A Prick". Ahhh, the good 'ol days.

If you could only pass out a candy heart with one saying, what would that saying be?

I'm torn between "I Rarely Wear Underwear But When I Do, I Wear Granny Panties" (not sure if that would fit on one side of the candy however) and "With Enough Pinot Grigio, You're Pretty".

And you?

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Multiple Foodgasms


Oh it is going to be a good weekend :)

From left to right, starting in the back row:
  1. A co-worker of mine recently returned from Switzerland and brought me a box of Swiss chocolate. Eating these truffles is like getting a 3 hour back massage in your mouth.
  2. Aunt Sally's Creole Pralines elicit three words - Oh my God. Friend and fellow blogger Laine and I had a bet on the Super Bowl. I lost. But, because she is so sweet and thoughtful, she sent me a box of pralines anyway. Eating one of these makes me want to dance in my kitchen. They are my new favorite breakfast food.
  3. King's Cake (Yankee Style). Not only is it tasty, but if I find the baby that is allegedly baked into some of these cakes, I win a prize. I will find that baby. Eating a piece of this makes me want to go look for buried treasure in the back yard.
  4. Focaccia bread with veggies and cheese. This smells great, looks great, and tastes wonderful. It feels like it weighs about 4 pounds which coincidently is probably the amount of weight I will gain on my thighs and bum each day this weekend. Eating this makes me want to buy bigger sweat pants.
I'm compensating for the extra calories by working out on the treadmill and by drinking wine instead of beer (while I'm working out on the treadmill).

Have an awesome weekend everyone!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Cake In A Dog Dish

Tonight Blondie cooked me a delicious dessert. She cooked it in the dog's bowl. And I ate it. You see, most of the dishes were still in the dishwasher. Oh well, any port in a storm. The batter was already made. It had to be cooked. Besides, the dog bowl was clean - it had come out of the dishwasher on the previous run.



No worries. I feel fine. After I ate it, I went pee pee on the pad and took a nap on the floor by the fireplace. Hey! Is that a cat...........????!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Baby Isn't Edible!


I had a little surprise from Blondie this evening.

You know, if you just read the first line after the header and title, you might be a little alarmed. I thought to myself "I just got home from work and I'm starving but damn it, I can't eat this if there is a freaking baby baked inside."

Then I realized it was a fake baby and the worst thing that could happen is that I could choke. But I would still win a gourmet deli sandwich. It's well worth the risk in my opinion. I'm making my way through it now. Updates to follow. See below.......


Found it!







Yay! Now if I could just find the teeth that were knocked out during this whole process.....





Sunday, February 5, 2012

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

Dear Million Moms,

I could quote statistics and ramble on about tolerance but I don't think we would still see eye to eye. So let me put it in terms you can understand.

Your organization is like a big stinky diaper filled with poop. And it's creating a mess everywhere. It's time for some wipes and a change.

================================

I wasn't even aware of the whole controversy regarding Ellen DeGeneres and J.C. Penny until I was enlightened by Taradharma whose blog Out of The Lotus is one of my all time favs.


For those of you haven't heard, a group called One Million Homophobic Big Dummies That Can't Think For Themselves Moms has their chastity belts knickers in a twist because J.C. Penny has elected Ellen as a spokesperson.

I'm proud of J.C. Penny for doing the right thing and keeping Ellen. Thank you for refusing to bow to pressure from right wing religious political extremists. They probably don't even shop at your store anyway. How do I know? Because I get my haircut at J.C. Penny every 5 weeks and when tested, they pass with flying colors. Never once have they been willing to give me a "Jack It To Jesus" up-doo, no matter how much I beg or plead. Rock on J.C. Penny.