Sunday, October 23, 2011

Conversations With Irene October 22, 2011

Irene hams it up for the camera.

Just after we shot this, she asked me if my chest had gotten bigger. Then she lifted up her shirt to show me she had gone up a bra size or two. Mind you, although no one was in the room with us, we were sitting in a common area.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Social Sinning

So last week I committed the cardinal sin of FUI - Facebooking Under The Influence. And I may have, kind of sort of, posted something about the Occupy Wall Street people that made me sound like a bit of a heartless whiney bitch. The gist of the post was that I had little sympathy for the occupiers since I commute 2+ hours one way to work every day and don't get home until 12 hours after I leave the house.

To redeem myself, here is my explanation. You see, here in Massachusetts we are subjected to the news, pictures, and videos of Occupy Boston. And unlike New York, the Massachusetts occupiers primarily seem to be spoiled recent college grads from Northeastern or Boston University who owe 100K plus in school loans and who are very pissed off for not yet being welcomed into Massachusetts upper middle class society even though they majored in something like Ancient Herbal Teas of the Old World or The Biology of Psychosis In Tree Dwelling Marsupials.

And that to me is annoying. That being said, I do believe corporate greed is out of control, that we are losing the middle class, that those who are fortunate to have great financial success should be willing to help out those who may need a helping hand, and that something has got to be done to turn this economy around or we are all going to be in deeper doo doo than we are now.

Now excuse me while I go occupy my car for my hellacious 68 mile commute to Boston.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Irene Conversation Of The Day October 16, 2011

Irene can be a little feisty at times. This weekend, while I was visiting her at the nursing home, she peaked out from her room into the hallway and spied the lift scale they use to weigh the residents, whereupon she blurted out an expletive or two and took a firm stand on not getting out of bed to get into that thing.

====
Irene: You know, I weigh 90 pounds now.
[Last week she told my sister and me she weighed 190 pounds - actual weight is probably around 125]

Me: I thought that is what you weighed when you first came here.

Irene: No, when I first got here, I weighed 9 or 10 pounds. That doesn't sound right does it?
===

No Irene, that doesn't sound right at all. I know for a fact that when you were first admitted, you weighed at least 12 pounds.

Hey, you can laugh or cry. I choose to laugh.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Commercial Property

I'm a little upset this morning. It appears that someone has stolen my likeness and associated it to their product. I know what you are thinking - it must be for some sexy underwear ad. Shocking, but no. Even though I must say a "Make Your Double A's Take Her Breath Away" campaign, featuring yours truly, might be a really big hit.

No, apparently my look appeals more to a sporty, fun loving, young audience. Like the ones that play video games for example. Hockey video games to be exact. Lovely.

Thanks Stiffy for thinking of me and passing along this image. Oh, and just to make matters worse, it was Stiffy's 8 year old son who pointed it out. And Stiffy agreed.



Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Questions, Questions

How many questions does one have to answer before you are actually allowed to pump the gas?

1. Rewards Card? -----> I hit Yes

2. Point Balance is 500 - Redeem? ------> I hit No

3. Debit Card? -------> I hit No

4. Car Wash Today? -----> I hit No

5. Would you like a receipt? ------> I hit No

6. Pap Smear? ------> I ran away.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Irene Conversation Of The Day October 1, 2011

The following is a recent conversation I had with my 86 year old Mother Irene.


Irene: Do you make good money?

Me: Good is a relative term. What do you mean by good?

Irene: Do you make at least $75.00 a week?

Me: Yes, I make at least $75.00 a week.

Irene: Then you're rich. Where else are you going to make that kind of money?

Me: Oh, I don't know. McDonalds?